[[---i am not who you think i am!---]]

Christmas

2010-12-09T21:56:00.003+08:00

what exactly does christmas mean..? isn't it suppose to be the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ? over the years Christmas has evolved to become "Christmas" aka Xmas.. it has become the time whr ppl get tghr to exchange gifts and eat and drink.... turkey, pork, roasted beef, ham, red wine, logcakes.................... wht link does all these food has to the birth of Christ, may i ask......? bt yet, tt's jus d way ppl are celebrating christmas nw... whr did christmas trees, christmas wreaths, candycanes all originate frm tt it has been such a part of our yearly so-called Christmas celebrations tt has totally no link to the Birth, in my opinion...? christmas has lost it's meaning...... almost totally!!tt's quite sad to know...i thot it's supposed to be smth Sacred.... and not lyk a reason fr u to buy presents fr ppl, spd money etc etc etc...... so wht if cny is aft christmas... singles "get" their money back..... and so......? spd more money during the christmas season on presents...?presents that has totally no link to the birth of Christ.....?sighs...i admit im guilty of nt holding up to the true meaning of christmas anymore........bt some reflection needs to b done abt this srsly..........is God rly present in all the feasting and partying.....?noticed i mentioned "christmas season"? christmas has become a SEASON!! a mere HOLIDAY!! and not a holy day as it is supposed to be)): it really is very very VERY SADDENING!!

2010-10-21T13:44:00.000+08:00

oh yay d blog is finally gonna b updated once more..whee!!-.-

loads hv been happening lately tt i dunno whr to begin... bt my life has been a bore as usual...so yea..

the past mth had loads of ups and downs.... i had plenty of fun w my frens, which i dun usually hv (referring to d fun btw)...went swimming quite often...yeaps...suddenly had this fascination over swimming so i jus kept going...LOL!! bt whn dere's fun dere's also loads of unhappy things happened tt turned my whole life upside down...rather my whole fam...sighs..shall nt elaborate here bt dun ask if ure wondering...yep...

hv been hving quite bad sore throat fr abt 2 to 3 weeks nw..sian...i think it's wk3 of my sore throat le..getting btr alr tho...first wk it was so bad tt i wake up every mrng w no voice at all..bt usually by d aftnn it'll b btr alr..second wk was more or less d same..sometimes it's d reversed..i wake up fine bt by aftnn wil go downhill..nw it's super pain in d evening..esp whn i yawn..rawrr!!n my stupid phlegm is lyk uber green n refuse to come out alr..sighs...ohh well..jus hate being sick..esp w sore throat&cough): den dunno y lyk last fri gt quite bad diahorrea in d mrng den aftnn felt so woozy n also felt lyk puking lo....sunday mrng also..had lyk a short blackout in church...dunno wht's wrong lo...bt i dun think im gg to doc either way...

getting uber fat!frm nt exercising..cnt rly consider swimming much of an exercise cn u?hope i'll b able to wake up tmr to run..rawrr!!so sian la..bt i nvr gain wt as usual..heh..

tuition is getting stressful!!tho im nt rly showing...gave my kid a test last wk on d basic topic of numbers...her rslt: 10.5/50!!cn u imagine tt?!gosh!!worse than her first test!!alot worse!!frm 32/100 to 10.5/50 aka 21/100!!same topic somemore...rawrr!!both tyms she left all d problem sums out...liddat 20m gone!!sheesh!!made her do d problem sums in 30min ytd...n she cn get all correct lo!!so it's lyk nt tt she dunno hw to do bt lyk lazy or smth...sigh...dunno how to help sia...sheesh!!den all her marks frm d other 2 sections gone due to careless mistakes lyk she cn do one part bt miss out another part whn d freaking qn is only 1 mark n no 0.5mark awarded kinda thing....piss me off!!den whn she nvr miss any steps at all she hv loads of calculation errors!!!wrkg correct bt calculation wrong!!!u tell me liddat hw la!!!)):tmr last lesson b4 her pp nxt fri alr....coz apparently she has supplementary on mon (which sch stil giv freaking supplementary lessons during exam wk?!), piano on tues (which parents in d right state of mind cont piano lessons during exam wk?!), tuition on wed (this i hv nth to say), thurs is her eng pp (God knows wht she has on aft tt), fri is her math pp!!!hw liddat?bt i stil gg on fri to teach sci-.-life sucks shit la.....

ohh ytd aft tuition i went on a food shopping spree....cn u imagine...?me spdg so much $$..?jus on food??whn im so complaining tt im FAT!!rawrr!!dunno wht's w me...rawrr!!!lyk i spd $4.50 on 4cups of cupnoodles,$1.50 on bread (frm breadtalk btw nt gardenia loaf),$20.10 on 8 oranges, 2 pears&2pkts of coffee (frm shaw's isetan's okinawa/nigiwai fair)...$26.10 jus gone in a day on food.....i think tt's d most ive ever spt in a day esp if it's only on food....usuallywhn im out i spd lyk less than $5 on food..plus misc things lyk arcade/movie is also less than $20 or at max $20 in a day lo...sigh...unless eat at restaurant on special occasion la...other than tt i dun spd much..?n nw liddat....over d nxt wk muz save,save,SAVE!!

i wan swim bt i wun hv anyone's hse to swim at til nxt mth)): sigh...dun wan waste money go swimming complex n share d pool w so many others whn i cn hv it free at a condo n cn even hv d pool to myself at tyms (tt's y it's called public pool & private pool fr tt reason tho-.-)....say i kiam siap fr all i care la...im jus being practical....

hv been gg dear's hse every fri fr dinner... tmr wil b 3weeks in a row le...heh..

i wanna learn hw to plat Taeyang's wedding dress!!!i managed lyk only d first pg....right hand nia...my left hand too slow fr d timing...so whn put tghr it's totally off!!!sigh...noob!!!ohh i also wanna buy Taeyang's album....anyone noe whr i cn find it...?((:is it even out in sg...?-.-but i jus bought the magic of David Foster cd....d reason in which i managed to giv myself to part w tt $$ is coz i nvr buy myself any cds fr yrs.....den nw i hv no reason to get Taeyang's)):

d other day whn i took out my keyboard aft yrs of nt taking it out, i had d shock of my life!!ok d story dates back to smth tt happened abt a yr ago....so here goes...my dustbin used to b beside my keyboard box (coz i used to slp d wrong direction last tym)...one day whn i was clearing d clearly overflowing-w-tissue dustbin, a cockroach happily jumped out of d dustbin n ran under my bed!!i sprayed d unders of my bed, lyk literally spam, w insecticide...so i thot "yay! it's dead..." or rather it shld hv been...coz i didnt see it anymore aft tt...bt days aft tt incident i had baby roaches all over my room...which i killed la-.-sometimes around d hse....den i was thinking "d roach died alr y stil gt babies?" and den i gt my ans d other day (almost a yr ltr) whn i took out d keyboard....coz my crumpler is nw in d place of my dustbin, i had to move it away to take out d keyboard (dusty la...crumpler v precious cannot get dirty tho it's nt tt clean)..aft taking d keyboard out, i saw tt d box inside had lyk loads of shit (roach's shit), bt didnt think too much into it...so i closed d box n wanted to put my crumpler back, i saw a dead roach (yes, d one tt jumped out of my dustbin abt a yr ago) in d place whr i wanted to put my crumpler....lucky i nvr put it dwn..haha..so how i noe tt tt roach was d same one?coz on d keyboard i found a roach egg.....tt's nt d end!!i cleared it n contd playing d keyboard...aft hrs i gt tired n put d keyboard aside..in d place of whr d keyboard was while i was playing was another roach egg!!(tt roach muz hv been super fertile.....so many eggs)...cleared it agn bt was making a mental note of nt slping in my room tt aftnn...unplug d adapter n coiled d wire....while coiling d wire..guess wht...?yet ANOTHER roach egg!!!this tym round i didnt clear it..i drop d adapter on d floor took my pillow n nvr went back to my room fr d rest of tt day...eh til my parents came back n cleared d cockroach n egg tt is...den my daddy cleaned d box of all d roach shit too... (thanks daddy!!((:) ok the end....

ohh i think my dad has been v cute d past mth..heh...lyk some small kid liddat...gets v happy over d smallest things...lyk laugh alot more, den getting more playful etc...lyk i help cook dinner n wash up n he's happy fr d rest of d nite...den if i 4get to help him put med he wil come up to me n whine...or aft putting d first med den need wait 5min b4 d second, i'll go do my own things, and if i go over slightly past 5min he'll pout at me n say "i thot u 4get abt me alr"... im alot lyk my dad (money-wise)...if i wan buy tidbits or icecream etc i'll think long n hard b4 getting...n most of d tym i wont get it at all....bt once whn we were at ntuc i was looking at d icecream coz i wanted to get bt feel tt it's a waste of money n he got it fr me w/o even me saying anything or himself thinking twice!!den d other night i went to top-up ez-link card w him n go ntuc aft tt to get milk....he cn ask "u wan anything...?snacks or wht..?"... usually whn i go out n tell him tt im gg out he'll say "y muz go out all d tym?cannot stay at home ar?go out only spd $$" bt ytd he laughed n say "ok...are u stil coming home fr dinner?" so weird la!! den usually if im suppose to b home fr dinner my parents wil expect me to reach home by 730pm d latest unless i tell them i'll b home late bt stil wan dinner...so ytd i decided to go over to dear's hse aft shopping at orchard, by d tym i left his hse was alr 730pm..at abt 750pm my mum called to ask whr i was (usually she wld hv screamed in d phone alr) bt i told her i was 3stops frm home n she only said "ok come home soon chicken at home waiting to b eaten..daddy&i eat first.." den whn i finally reached home at 8pm they nvr giv me black face at all (which they usually do whn im home later than they expect me to b) stil cn smile smile at me n make fun of d chicken.....so weird!!! mb tt's d power of praying d rosary tghr every night.... i dunno y bt most of d tym i'll feel super happy fr no reason while praying d rosary w daddy...n whn mummy joins in i'll feel happier((: jus tt last nite i was super tired.. i hvnt bathed so i didnt pray)):

ok end of my boring life....till then....((:

2010-05-23T17:25:00.002+08:00

well.. it has been SUPER LONG since ive last updated... dunno who still comes to my blog to see if ive updated but who cares.. i'll jus blog anws...

well life... as usual... sucks.... dunno y bt lately ive been losing my cool v easily... ohh wells.. sigh..... things dont always go the way you've planned it to b does it....?

moving on............. it has been months since results were out....... shall not talk abt tt...... tho depressing i must say....... so what's next? if i cant get into uni............. shld i waste a yr....? def nt gonna retake........ anyone wan sponsor my education.....? sighs........ even i myself dunno wht i wanna b in future...... d only thing i see myself doing, everyone is lyk against tt idea!!!! so frustrating....!!! i rly hate my mum fr wanting to control my life!!! ITS MY FUTURE!! NOT HERS!!! cant she let me do smth tt i hv interest in and tt i cn see myself doing?! rather than WHAT SHE WANTS ME TO DO?! JUS BCOZ SHE DIDNT GET TO DO IT LAST TYM!?!?!? srsly.. FUCK!! sighs.... RAWRR!!

i love going out w deardear!! heh.. movies!!! I WAN WATCH SHREK!! whee!!! i srsly want tt sandals and shoes!!! go back w me to buy!! mummy dun wan buy fr me:( say no money... yar rite.... boo!!!! i buy fr u white socks k? haha... swensens! shokudo! dimsum!! rawrr!!! i wan eat!! heh... love my deardear to bits and pieces!!! woots!!

clothes clothes clothes........ im slowly starting on my major revamping of my clothes... so far deardear bought me 2 pairs of shorts... and ive gotten myself 3 tops........ i rly need tt sandals and shoes!!! all my shoes srsly dun match my clothes anymore!!! i shld stop wearing jeans... but my skirts are lyk eww... ohh wells...... i need white heels too!!! shopping anyone......? [bt muz wait til i get $$!!!!]

im dead broke!!! to hit my aim i hv to save... LOADS!! tho i hv enuff alr....... but if i deposit tt amnt jus nice den i'll hv nth to spd at all!!!! gosh!!! rly need stop spding unnecessary $$!! but i need new clothes and footwear DESPERATELY!!! how?

2010-01-03T20:46:00.002+08:00

aft so long of nt updating.... haha!! ok A Level's are LONG GONE!! woots!! and ive essentially wasted 1mth away... yeps... spding loads of money over d xmas season etcetcetc.... watched movies, go places, went overseas, rot at home..... the list goes on... ive packed my hse!!!! but its in a mess agn THANKS TO THE REST OF THE PPL WHO LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS ME!! DUN WAN HELP ME PACK BUT MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE MESSY!!! still blame me fr nt packing!! LOOK WHO'S TALKING!!!! hmm hv been out alot lately.... beginning of d hols kp gg nic's n jes' hse.... den dear's hse... almost everyday nt home fr meals den reach home lyk slightly b4 mn kinda thing.... sheesh.... the days frm xmas eve onwards are more exciting la... xmas eve deardear came over fr dinner... den xmas day i went fr mass den go deardear's hse in d evening fr dinner... d following day went to nic's hse play guitar den go deardear's hse fr dinner agn... den on mon went fr wedding mass at ihm den went to mrs tan's hse.... she brought us to north pt.. ate at swensen's den went to play arcade... super crazy.. LOADS OF SWTS!! hahah.... den on tues went deardear's hse den we went to watch movie w ty n his gf.... aft tt deardear n i went fr dinner n went to sit flyer!!! hahaha!!! so cool.... but at nite den all d pics we took v dark xcept d lights-.- on wed went to sentosa w d class... or supposedly the class but as usual nt the whole class turn up de la.... had loads of fun dere... lyk one whole mth nvr see them... aft tt rushed to meet deardear to hv dinner coz his mum's bday......... on thurs went fr some stupid job interview den came home aft lunch to slp n play den went to kim's hse w deardear fr countdown... were d last to reach.. hahah... oh wells.... had loads of fun playing cards.... listening to ghost stories.... playing guess the number.. and drinking... hahah!!! slpt only at 7am.... til lyk 9plus.... yepyep... aft tt went to deardear's hse fr lunch n slpt dere........ den he came to my hse fr dinner.... hahahah..... ytd went out w deardear agn... in d evening to watch sherlock holmes..... damn nice movie!!!! rly v nice.... hahahah.... HAPPY 17TH MONTHSARY DEARDEAR!!! den had dinner aft d movie den go home... n as usuall sundays i rot at home aft church... HAHA!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! [TDAY LAST DAY OF XMAS!!!] cheers!!! ive updated a boring post.. HAHA!

JC2 Retreat 20090919

2009-09-20T23:13:00.010+08:00

ok i'm nt gonna be crazy n blog abt the whole entire retreat... dun hv tt much tym to do tt.. tho i wld love to... but by den this post wld hv lost its meaning.. shall jus post my take away on each session ok not all but those tt i hv things to say.. but onli focusing on one particular session.. yep..

Session 1: outside in

what: we wrote wht we think we are to others our "exterior" on d outline of our palms (draw on pp duh). moving in, we wrote our personal qualities.. and in d centre [a circle]. we wrote wht we think is our real inner self.. cut out d palm paste on our backs allowed others to write wht they think of us.. picked a bible verse at random n wrote in d circle.
take away: for me wht i wrote and wht others wrote of me were totally different.. onli 1 was same.. den as i continued to compare wht i wrote w wht others wrote i realised wht i wrote had more bad pts abt myself than gd... mb im jus too pessimistic.. i focus too much on my weakness than my strengths... hmm.. wht do u think....? "You are precious and honoured in my sight... I love you..." -Is 43:4

Session2:

what: started w those illusion pictures.. u noe.. those pics w hidden pics.. hiyah whtever u call it i dun care.. den moved on to watch a video abt a father and son team in a triathelon...
take away: frm the first part of the session.. in life, we tend to look onli on the surface of things.. we hardly look deeper.. but actualli if we put in the effort to look deeper into d smaller picture, we can see a bigger picture... its jus d same with life.. we look at life on its surface... we bcum v superficial and materialistic.. hv we stopped to look at d deeper meaning of life? nt rly rite? we are jus so caught up w activities everyday we hardly pause to reflect on wht is it tt we're rly doing.. the meaning of life.. wht is it.. do we know? will we ever noe? wht is our purpose on earth..? y did God create us...? wht is our mission? has anyone ever wondered these days..? ive been so caught up w studying fr prelims.. ok nt only prelims.. but i even left choir in d beginning of this yr to focus on studies.. n nw gonna get caught up studying fr alvls... but these studying.... i rly ask myself.. y am i studying so much.. wht fr.. jus to get a gd job in future.. is tt rly my purpose in life.. y am i nt happy studyin.. whn i die nxt tym i also dun need the info i study to get into Heaven wht.. nt lyk dere's written examination on wht ive studied on earth.. i jus feel tt dere's smth missing in my life.. life has lost its purpose for me.. lyk super meaningless.. i muz go find back my meaning in life.. but will i make tym fr it......?
frm second part of the session.. fr me, the handicapped son is lyk all of us, sinners.. and the father is God.. for a handicapped person, completing a triathelon is very much impossible.. but for the son in d video, his father made it possible..! let's say the triathelon is our life journey.. we are running d race of life.. we hv to complete it no matter what.. but life is not smooth sailing as u all noe it.. but with God, all things are possible.. God is lyk the father in d video coz He's always dere helping us to reach our "goal" to finish the race of our lives no matter wht the cost may be.. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -Phil 4:13

Session3:

what: water balloon game.. aim: to bring water balloon safely across.. pairs toss balloon to each other frm one end to other.. each light stick 20pts..
take away: frm wht i saw of d game, abt 9 out of 10 pairs picked up d light sticks on d way.. whn d main aim was jus to get d balloon safely across.. in life its jus d same.. we hv a purpose in life.. but along d way, we hv many things tt distract us [the light sticks]..and often than nvr, we allow those distractions steer us away frm our goals.. we take a longer tym than usual to achieve our goal.. but paying attn to those distractions.. is it worth? is dere even tt need to?

Session4: Reconciliation

take away: anxiety... instant results.. dere's no such thing as instant is dere? doubts.. God has His way of doing things and He'll do it in due time. we hv to wait patiently instead of demanding...

Session6:

what: each person a piece of pp to write 5 dreams.. aftrwhich we are supposed to piece all 156 pieces of pp tghr to form a pic..
take away: we took approx an hr to piece everything tghr.. at first nt knowing wht d pic is supposed to be.. we were all doing our own things.. trying to form a big pic in small separate grps.. which obviously didnt work.. we had to move as a team.. initially we did nt hv d pic to guide us along.. but once d pic was flashed, we had a direction, all we needed was to piece d pieces tghr.. very true in life... its lyk tt isnt it.. our life is lyk the big picture tt we're supposed to piece tghr.. however we do not hv d big picture to guide us, so we move ahead rather aimlessly.. nt knowing wht to do, which piece fits in whr.......
our masterpiece of last year's retreat...

Session 7: the Eucharist

take away: haha.. nth much actually coz by den i was too tired tt i didnt rly pay attn.. opps.. sry God!! but to all my frens.. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!((:

ok tt's abt it... hahah... as u read did u realised i miss out smth...? well.. if u scroll up u'll realise tt session5 is missing... heh.. ok session5 wil b below.. gonna b a relatively long one i suppose.... but session2 alr longer than expected might jus trash session5 de...

Session5: Reflections of our life..

what: walking the Labyrinth.. the way in is the way out..

take away: life is full of choices.. these choices are jus lyk crossroads.. each road lead us up a different path, a different direction, to a different destination... for every choice we make, there's no turning back.. we have to bear the consequences of our actions.. every path of d crossroad we choose is like a one-way street... dere's no u-turn for us.. however, our life is only a one-way street.....we cant turn back tym to change the choices we've made... there may b many turns in life, but ultimately, there's onli one rd in which we are travelling on... its either make or break...

the labyrinth... its a one-way "maze"... the way in is the way out.. there is no alternative route.. no crossroads, nth at all... jus a circle and one a path to the centre... on the way in we were suppose to reflect on our past 18 yrs... wht hv we done, wht hv we not done etc etc etc... on the way out we were supposed to ask God wht He wants us to do for Him.. wht can we do for Him... for me, the way in is lyk a flim of my life thru my mind... going deeper and deeper and deeper.... til i reach the centre... let's say its whr our heart is... whr God is.. you can rly feel His presence there.. as i walk, my legs grew heavier, til it came to a pt whr i rly didnt feel lyk walking anymore.. jus wanted to give up totally.. but smth in me kept sayin, "dont give up.. jus alil more to go.. you're reaching your goal.. dont give up.. dont give up.." with more "alil more" i finalli made it to d centre((: its lyk on both my journey in and out i cld feel God pushing me to move on.. not pushing in that negative sense but lyk motivating, encouraging, carrying me..... once agn.. Phil4:13....

while d rest of d grps were walkin d Labyrinth, coz my grp was d first grp out of 9... we had almost 3hrs slack tym... yep... so during tt 3hrs, we talked to mrs tie... wrote warm fuzzies and chit chat outside staff room.. had heart-to-heart in d canteen..... yep.. quite cool... getting to see another side of a person which u dun get to see in class at all... (: and i thank God for tt....

let's jus say this retreat has allowed me to know myself btr, know God better and of coz d ppl arnd me... (: rly gave me much insights...

2009-07-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

i rly dunno how some ppl cn jus b so super irritating.... jus makes me wonder how in d wrld they hv frens at all.... rly gets on my nerves!!!

if u dunno who i referring to dun bother asking or making wild guesses and coming to wrong conclusions..... if u noe u noe if u dun TOO BAD! YOU DONT!

2009-06-01T21:42:00.002+08:00

You Are All of This to Me
Melissa Collette

You're the thought that starts each morning,
the conclusion to each day.
You are in all that I do,
and everything I say.

You're the smile on my face,
the twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
the fullness in my life.

You're the hand that's laced in mine,
the coat upon my back.
My friend, my love,
my shoulder to lean on.

You're my silly, mature, caring,
thoughtful, bright and honest guy.
The one who holds me tightly,
when I need to cry.

You're the dimple in my cheek,
the ever-constant tingle in my soul.
The voice that makes me weak,
the happiness of my life.

You are all I've wanted,
you are all I need.
You are all I've dreamed of,
you are all of this to me.

Two of Me
Anne G. Fegely

I never thought I'd find myself
the day that I found you.
Plans for only
one of me
are future plans for
two.
Soul mates in this universe
that make the world surreal.
For when I'd give up on dreams
you showed me love is real.
And now that all my love for you
will never cease to grow,
please take me in your loving arms
and never let me go.

2009-03-20T12:22:00.002+08:00

aftr so long of nt blogging.... i also dunno wht to blog.............. but this is jus to revive my bloggie alil b4 i let it die fr midyrs............

hmm.... since.... 1jan huh... let me think wht happened ar......

...processing...

...processing...

...processing...

all i cn say is..... term1 is OVER!!!!!! at long last!!! 3 more terms den alvls and THROW AWAY TEXTBOOKS!!!!!! ok no.. tt's wasting money........ ok im so nt lookin fwd to tt...... unless someone promises me a nice vacation in aus or switz or germany or venice or london or canada....... den i'll look fwd.. if nt.. NONO!!

ok nw is chiong syf and stil keep up to/improve grades time....... dunno hw's tt gonna b possible...... but ya.. somehow i jus gotta make it all work out rite?? coz... NTH'S IMPOSSIBLE W ISABELLE!!! ((:

CT last week was a total screw up la..... gp is gg... econs almost gg.. phy i thot was btr than econs which is weird ok nt rly but also gg... chem def gg.... but i kp my fingers crossed... math... sigh.......... dunnid say alr la.......... if tyco den i stil cn do well... nt tyco den gg lyk crazy......... ok tt's CT for you.....

i think term1 was a rather crazy term...... time pass so fast!! alr gg end of march hols!! term1 was worse than last yr whn we chiong pw lo!! its lyk ok la nc slp slightly earlier... but d amnt of wrk!! CRAZY!!! do non-stop de!!!den whn u finally finish it n stop owing homework... less than a day everything piles up agn and d whole cycle repeats...... fer d whole term!!! its tt sian...!!! i think i broke my own record la....!!!!! of nt coming online fr so long!!! i think i whole term only came online lyk 5 times in total.....!!!!!!!!!!!! ok la mb slightly more? but def elss than 10!!!! whn i used to b online EVERYNIGHT!!!! okok....... tt's abt all fr term 1........

sci camp... was....... relatively fun.... quite ok la... nt as bad as i expected it to turn out but nt as fun as i wanted it to b.......... ok tt's fr sci camp..............

sighs........ feeling kinda messed up......... over some things... esp one..... i rly dunno if i shld make tt decision and transfer over lo............ lyk so mean la... but i dun see a pt in staying......... i rly dunno.... and no one seems to b able to tell me the right thing to do!!!! how? how? how? sighs..... i rly dunno le..... ):

ytd went nic's hse study w her.... wah fr d first half of d tym [b4 lunch] i was sneezin thruout!!! den nvr do much...!!! den aftr lunch went her hse instead of d study lounge....... ok studied more... coz i stop sneezing...... den aftr awhile tim came over.... den nic n i jus laugh non-stop coz of some funny things....... left at abt close to 630..... den ya come home eat dinner come online play den slp -.-...... this is wht i call no life coz its so boring!!!! ok but d tym spent at nic's hse was fun!!! ((: jus love to spend time at her hse be it studying or playin or jus to stone....... haha... coz of her tt makes it so fun... all d rubbish talking...... d joking around etc........ hmm i think d next tym wil b june hols le ): sch reopen cannot de..... sigh........... den suppose to study w jes tday....! but nvr arrange w her anws.... oh wells.... sry jes!!! some other tym k? weekends aft syf!! or june hols k?? ((:

ok ive updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! but rly dunno whn's d next tym i'll update lo... so yea... stay tuned.....

2009-01-19T21:30:00.003+08:00

How Do I Love Thee
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breadth,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

2009-01-01T13:13:00.003+08:00

first and foremost..... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! ((:

hmm this new year.... my resolutions....... hahaha... ok i dun write new year resolutions....!!!!

lets see.......

- study hard... ace all exams... INCLUDING ALEVELS!!!
- get scholarship
- go overseas [Gold Coast, Switzerland, Germany, Paris, London........]
- NOT CUT MY HAIR!!!
- hit 10k!!!
- be a good girl (((:
- LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!! [ITS A MUST!!!]

HAHAHA!! there you have it... my resolutions..... XD

my hair is totally screwed.... d person cut firnge fer me lyk cut banks lyk tt!! so shitty!!!! sigh.... tt's y am not gonna cut my hair fer d rest of d yr........ give my firnge a yr to grow back den i cut back my old hairstyle......... hmph... so angry can!!!!! so sucky!!! @#%$&$%^@$^%%&#^@&*&$*&%$@*#*^$!%#@&&#!#@^$#!$!!&%$

2008-12-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

hmm 5 days of tuition alr.. 3 days to go.. rather 2 fer me.. lol.. ytd n tdae met dear fr lunch aft tuition((: lol.. hmm hv yet to start xmas shopping.. or rather i only finished my fam de.. frens all hvnt.. so machiam hvnt start.. yeaps.. tdae aftr tuition while walking to ps fer lunch saw charlotte, iggy, kenneth and ben tan... lol.. ok... lyk v long nvr see dem...... den on my way home whn cutting thru hgm.. saw kevin... LOL...! lyk kp meeting church ppl... so cool... and all those whom ive nt met in AGES!!! esp kevin.... lol...... ok dun count char in.. coz i jus saw her at hgm nt long ago.......... heh...... tmr gt penitential service.. oh wells.. den thurs gt final prac fer concert n friday!!! concert day!!!! gosh.....!!! i btr start memorizing o magnum mysterium!!! stil cnt get one part of it... rather rmbr....... yar........ lyk in d middle of no whr b4 d alleluia de.. ok...i bet ppl dunno wht i talking le..lalalalalala oh wells.... 8 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!!!! SOMEONE!!!! GO DO LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING WITH ME!!!!!! need to finish it desperately!!!!!!!!

2008-12-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

hmm wanted to update abt batam trip... but yar.. jus feeling v lazy... lyk bck fer a week le stil hvnt update.. so mb whn i feel less lazy den i'll let the pics do the talking................

went out w nic n yx tdae.. to sign up fer phisics crash course..... yeps.. den aftr yx left, nic n i went starbucks get frappe... ((: v long nvr drink frappe alr!!! since the last tym vivien's mum treated me to it whn we went PP and i puked aftr tt.. [opps....] yea... rly enjoyed it.. though was stil coughing alil n it was ice blended......... but yea was v tired so at least tt woke me up alil....... while walking at PS, saw jes n fc.... talked awhile den we contd walking, drink finish den go home........ in the train we suddenly ran out at kovan... kinda funny la... lyk random..... walked hlm.. bought straws and double sided tape.............. walked awhile more den went home.... lol.... v long nvr go out w nic alr!!! ((: oh den b4 tt... guitar prac.... SIAN!! delayed by one whole hour!!! wth! nvm leh..... we spend lyk 4mths practising the 11pgs syf piece... until we all nearly perfected it... n now they pass us a new score of the same song... transposed to D maj.......... nvm..... NEED TO LEARN FRM THE SCRATCH AGN!! WTF LA!!! arrgh!!!! tt nvm!!! I LEFT MY FAV PEN IN THE GUITAR ROOM!!!! n lyk i no more pen! had to get a new one lo!!! if nt dun need do homework alr!!! plus no more guitar prac til next yr!!! ): ltr if the cleaner clean the room den throw my pen im gonna b so heart broken!!!! sighs..................................

dunno why but lyk ive almost recovered frm my sickness aftr batam trip.... den everything seems to come back..... my sore throat... my fever... but all slight ones.. on n off.... nvm... i hv sudden outbreak of rashes... n bruises... plus a v bad stomachache...... tt i cldnt eat anything fer dinner.... so only ate dessert... but had diahorrea agn whn i reached home...... sighs.... jus feeling weird.. n weak.. n alil tired... n my vision is lyk blurred... thruout........ nt my degree increase or wht lo.. jus dunno why... lyk as if smth translucent is blocking my view.............. n 3 of my fingers suddenly turned kinda red n swelled during guitar.......... it was quite bad.... nw nt tt bad but stil swollen lo... sighs..... ):

yea.. ok.. shall end here fer now.... will post up some pics whn i hv the time... till then...

dear... i miss you.. take care.. God bless.. 8 more days...

1T21 Chalet!! 11Nov08 - 13Nov08

2008-11-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

11nov2008;tuesday

went to sch at lyk normal sch tym!! super retarded.. jus to hand in the certs.. den went to the grandstand dere to read while tim ty n roy played bball.. wasted quite abit of tym in the canteen............... aft tt went e-block dere wan study but nvr also... went home slp awhile...... bathed etc den went to meet suppposedly tim kkm jessie n joy at pasir ris end up is tim n ty.......... yeaps.. reached dere 5plus... no one was at the chalet all dunno go whr... except wf who was lyk super engrossed in watchin a korean drama... n kim n moth who were in the room....... we put our things dwn den went to the beach.... lyk eh so much fer gg dere anws.. LOL... bbq started at lyk dunno wht tym... but yar while waiting etc everyone was in their own world... playing cards, playin mahjong, watching tv, and dunno wht the 7ppl were doing in the room..... hurhur... the food was................ average only.......... but oh wells.. at least nvr lao sai so its ok... yeaps.... haha.... i think i only like the cheese hotdog.. bwahahha!! anws left at lyk almost 11...... reached home at 12.... den went to slp immediately coz next day gt guitar.... [sian]

12nov2008;wednesday

went to sch fer guitar.. lyk wth waited so long fer d freaking bus end up i was freaking 30min late! but nvm... prac as boring as usual.... aftr tt had lunch in sch.. den tim n i went my hse.... lyk ya i delayed abit coz dunno wht to pack.. den also went to bathe.. aftr tt rushed down to ica w him to collect his passport........ waited super long lyk 218 ppl in waiting b4 his number..... yar........ den went his hse aftr tt fer him put dwn things take things n bathe........ went to whitesands fer dinner at abt 8plus 9 alr....... den went to downtown meet the rest coz they gg hv dinner dere....... tok d keys went bck first rest awhile b4 d rest came bck..... played abit of cards...

13nov2008;thursday

went to walk pasir ris park tghr to play sparklers and poppers at 12mn...... went breakwater emo..... den went bck to the chalet.. played somemore....... den tim n i went dwn to slp at abt 3 while the rest remained in the room to play......... slpt til 5plus den wanted to go watch sunrise but walk out abit further it started to rain... so went bck in to slp... til 8... under d stairs coz d previous spot beside d table abit cold... went to downtown fer breakfast.... joy n kkm were alr dere.... so yar lyk aftr tt d 4 of us headed bck to the chalet.. d rest were stil slpin!! only khem n jes woke up..... so played mahjong den started clearing up the place........... den ya some nt nice things happened........ aftr tt chck out... went to whitesands food court so d rest cn eat brunch........ end up lyk also abit screwed la..... only afew ate.... nvm..... den 7 out of the 9 ppl who were dere fell aslp.............!!! anws left dere at 1plus? yea.. reached home at abt 2plus... slpt til 530.. watched tv til 8..... had dinner n dere im online.... hehe...

sian tmr gt guitar at 8...... cn die........... sighs...

ahh!!!! 3d2n is real short!!!! i miss the fun at the chalet.... wished it was longer n the weather was better!! oh wells.... lyk next one wil b next yr or wil dere even b one next yr???

dear.. thanks for all the fun as well.. if it wasnt for you perhaps i wldnt hv enjoyed myself as much.. yea.. thanks alot... love you <3

NO MORE PROJECT WORK!!

2008-11-05T18:26:00.006+08:00

yay! finally! its all over!! all the late nites, rushing thru reports, preparing slides for oral presentation... NO MORE PROJECT WORK!! at long last im done w op on monday!! hmm.. kinda miss doin proj wrk alil.. all d fun.. ya.. tiring tho.. n take up way too much time.. but nvm its over.. haha..

ytd wasnt feelin tt well.. lyk.. ya.. was quite cold at home.. stayed home d whole day chatting sleeping playing sims reading.. hmm.. den tdae hiyah whole day in bed.. playin guitar, watching closing the ring, gonna read aftr i blog..

hols hv began "officially"...... need find things to do.. d past few days so sian.. bt kp gg out also sian.. ohh well.. shal start studying agn soon b4 my brain rot in my skull.. i hv a feeling its starting to rot alr tho... ohh well.. muz prevent it frm rottin further.. mb sat whn go bishan library to return n borrow bks shun bian study awhile dere..ya..

hmm hvnt touch d guitar since d last prac in aug.. jus nw took it out to play.. lyk gosh! out of tune nvm cn tune.. i 4got everything!! esp d syf de! totally!! took me half an hr to figure out d first bar.. den slowly rmbr here n dere.. oh well mus prac lyk shit b4 prac resumes..

ohh.. tdae i woke up at 7!!! lyk wth!! holiday stil wake up at tt tym!!!! forced myself bck to slp... woke up agn at 12... so ya skipped breakfast....... no one told me i had to settle my own lunch la!!! wth!! den no money given also no msg left behind... called my dad den found out i wld b home alone the whole day lo... lyk SIAN!! den lunch also had to settle on my own... considering the time i woke up.. lyk nt v early la.... lyk lunch tym alr... washed up n all.. den lyk gg to rain.. was also kinda lazy to go down... so was deciding if i shld eat or jus skip both meals.... yea.... decided to cook in the end..... wanted to cook spaghetti.. but instead.. i cooked maccaroni... lyk anyhow cook de.... wanted it to b maccaroni w egg only..... but felt it was too plain... so i added in spaghetti sauce n sausage......... yea...... looks quite nice.. smells nice... taste... HAHA!!! nice of coz!!!! but thot it wld taste btr if it wasnt spaghetti sauce.... hmm... mb aftr dinner shall go ntuc n scout fer a sauce suitable for it.... hahaha...

dere you have it... my lunch today... LOL!!! come to think of it looks kinda disgusting.. but rly its nt bad.. lol.. to me la.. of coz i wont say my cooking is bad wad... lol!!!! gonna cook it fer mummy.. see what she says... heh...

2008-10-26T22:40:00.004+08:00

hmm.. nt a v gd way to start a post aftr the blog has been dead for half a mth.. but i'll stil start by bitching.... b4 i go crazy keeping it in me... i shall not mention who im bitching abt.. if u noe u noe u dunno dun bother noeing.... not rly impt.. i wont post the name... ltr my blog link spoil coz the name is dere....

i rly dunno why dere's still such irritating ppl lyk you on the face of this earth nowadays!!! its no wonder the earth is dying...!! coz ppl lyk u "contaminate" it!!!!!! coz of ppl lyk u tt's y dere's no peace on earth!!! tt's y dere's war everywhere!!!!!!!!!! cnt u jus see it? ohh wait u cant.. coz ure way too self centered... all u care abt is your own welfare... your own well being..... what happens to everyone else is none of ur business.. it doesnt concern u..... not at all....... so much fer today's homily being "love your neighbour as yourself".. sry too bad.... tt cannot b achieved w ppl lyk u arnd.... or rather only w ppl lyk u tt it cannot b achieved... u dun bother abt how other ppl feel at all...... no one wld wan u to bother anws...... u only noe hw to look at one side of things..... frm ur point of view only... only from d point whr it concerns u....... have u ever tried looking at things from a different perspective? i dun think u hv..... hv u ever tired putting urself into the shoes of others? dun think u hv as well... dun even think u bother at all..... u talk abt obligation.... well u feel obligated to come so wht? its lyk as if my not going is my fault.. sry i have other commitments.. i noe u hv as well..... n perhaps larger commitments compared to mine....... so what? i'd rather attend d mass alone or with others n get along w my other ocmmitments!!! im NOT obliged to see ur dirty black long face on sunday mornings!!! lyk tt's d best way to spoil my sunday..... you say ure disappointed in me, you say ure sure the rest are as well.......... but u noe smth...? the rest of us are more disappointed in YOU than you are in US!! everyone's been putting up with you for very long!!! if u hvnt realise.. dun think u hv coz ure BLIND!! n u didnt even ask if they were u think u are a mind reader? u cn read their minds? so what if u take psychology? n if u were a mind reader............ u wld hv been able to tell tt everyone is jus tolerating w ur nonsense...... jus tt no one bothered mentioning anything...... coz u jus wan things ur way.... everyone jus cnt b bothered w u anymore...... many of them want to quit lyk long ago.... all coz of u.......... including me.. i thot of quitting as well.... but the only reason why we're all still here is not because we're so hard up of wanting to see u......... the only reason why we stayed is for the fact we wan to serve God n praise Him with our voices.... and WE'RE NOT QUITTERS!!!! ITS WORTHLESS TO QUIT JUS COZ OF A JUNK LIKE U!!! but all you care about is the quality... no doubt it has to have a certain quality.... but dun u think the way ure treating us is lyk as if we're performing n not praising God...!!! u said we're not performing for the congregation..... dont u think ure contradicting urself??! ure the one who needs ALOT OF REFLECTION to do!!! not us!!!!! go think abt it!!!! dun even think u can think... u dun seem to have a brain bigger than that of an ant........ oh wait that's too insulting to ants...... let's jus say u dun hv a brain at all.... u dun even bother sympathizing with others..... ohh wait.. we all dun need ur sympathy... we can survive without it.. we alr have.....

ok enuff of bitching.... b4 my mood gets worse......... hmm sch term has ended......... chinese is this thurs..... op is next mon... cnt wait fer it to be over!!! den hv nth to wry.... and and and........ ok nth.. lol.... promo results are out............. failed physics... lyk so unexpected.... but yet kinda expected... ok contradicting..... but i didnt expect it to b tt bad.... yeaps......... gosh holidays!!! y dun i look forward to it all of a sudden....

dear.. sry.. i think i owe u quite a number of things?? aft op k?? sry..... if u dunno wht i referring to.... eh... hmm....

2008-10-11T21:45:00.002+08:00

promos are finally over!! but dunno whether can get promoted anot... kinda worried... but oh wells...

on thurs, went to ecp w ger to emo.but didnt rly emo la.jus listened to emo songs, eat swts, talk, cam whore... hmm wht else.....? tt's abt it.. hahaha! den aftr tt met dear.. went to look fer d petshop.. look look arnd... den had dinner.. walk arnd parkway parade.. den went home.. yeaps..

ytd went town w dear... walk walk fer awhile at ps... den went to cine buy movie tics.. closing the ring.. den went to taka get his sis bday present.. went bck to cine fer dinner.. den meet my sis n jiasin fer movie... gosh d movie v nice la!! ((: aftr movie went to get slippers den went home...... had loads of fun tho i made it sound boring....

jus nw went parkway dere agn... w my sis n jiasin.. brought them to the petshop... aftr tt took bus to dhoby n trained to vivo fer sec4 class gathering... lyk wht? jes ger n i eat alr take pic den go alr... reached home much much much earlier than expected... wanted to come home w nic de.. but dunno hw long she'll stay til.... so ya lo.. reached home abt 8 lyk tt....... super early!!!!! yea lo....

v no mood to blog now... lyk promos so screwed... but oh wells shall nt think abt it lo........ physics i need 40 fer promos to get S 47 fer E. chem 72 fer A 60 fer B. math 52 fer D 46 fer E.. econs 43 fer S!!! gp 45 fer E.. chinese 59 fer C 52 fer D 46 fer E...

lyk u tell me la!! which one of it is possible? econs def IMPOSSIBLE! if its possible i'll give a treat sia!! phy haiz stick to S la.. dun even noe if its possible.... chem i think my A flew away.... 60 shld b possible... math... D sure cannot de lo!! i alr lost 51 marks!!!! E is SO UGLY!! gp haiz.. dun wan say........ chinese D or E mb can la... but lyk.... ARRGH!!! so screwed la!!!!!! i'll jus get retained la!!! if i get promoted i'll give a treat too!! eh anws i nvr say i treating who hor........ so dun assume... i might jus b treating myself only..... =P

oh wells i shall jus enjoy n focus on op... til 21oct.... my doomsday...

2008-09-07T18:48:00.002+08:00

this shall be my last post before promos... n perhaps i shall jus not come online at all till aftr promos [if possible] except for pw!! yeps.. so dere's an exception dere ((:

gosh.. tmr's the start of yet another term in school.. it'll be the final lap for this year!! will i be able to make it through and get into the next race?? even if im able to make it thru, will it be satisfying enuff? many thots hv been running thru my head.. jus feels like its gonna explode...

promos in.... 22days time!! am i really that prepared? [no] do i know all my stuffs? [perhaps but not for every subj] is everything really at my fingertips? [definitely NOT!] see!! tt's how well-prepared i am for promos!! HOW TO PASS LIKE THAT?! isa ar isa.. you better STOP WASTING YOUR TIME!! AND START STUDYING!! LIKE STUDY UNTIL GO SIAO!! QUICK GO GET DATES WITH YOUR BELOVED NOTES!! [ok that sounded kinda crazy]

maths [(:] chem [(:] phy [:/] econs [=X] GP [??] chinese [-.-]
dere u go.. tt's how well prepared i feel for each subj...

mid year results:
Phy [S] Chem [B] Math [S] Econs [U] GP [E] Chinese [S]

aims for promos:
Phy [D] Chem [A] Math [B] Econs [D/E] GP [C/D] Chinese [C/D]

am i aimming way too high? is that too much to ask for?? i rly wonder... will i be able to achieve those results??

wah!! sia la!! i think i really am GOING CRAZY!! someone save me!!

lol! the paras fer this post seems to be one sentence only.. GP fail.. LOL! dunno paragraphing.. =P

to end off.. i shall perhaps type a reflection of today's Homily....

LOVE

something that not even death can destroy... something so great.. and wonderful.. that's what love is... GOD IS LOVE!! where there is everlasting peace and happiness..... [sounds nice rite....???] tt's Heaven for you... coz that's where God is.. ((:

tell you smth... smth scary [yar rite.. oh wait it is wht...].. oh.. no.. dun run away.. oh.. no.. pls dun... its not that scary you know...? but.... it'll.......... HAUNT YOU!! ............ no la not really.. im just typing rubbish.. [isa! cut the crap and carry on!! quick!! u still need to study for a physics test tt's tmr!!! 4chps leh! u dun wan slp tnite ar?!]

okok.. shall stop crapping den... [see!!ppl scold me alr... ):]

here... here on earth... ITS LIVING HELL!! no no.. hell is not a place.. earth is... hell is jus an absence of love.. [dere u so.. the scary truth of life!! not that scary aftr all rite? but it actually is u noe...? see!! gt WWI WWII n mayb even WWIII coming right up!! (choy! touch wood!! isa! dun talk cock!)]

Heaven.. that's where love is.. coz that's where God is!! John 3:16 says.. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son; that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have life everlasting.

why do we all need love? is it really that important? what will happen to us if dere is no love? [oh wait.. we'll be living hell.. no.. we alr ARE living hell here on earth!]

love. love. love!! everything is possible only through love!! it's what that holds us all close together!! that's how great the power of love is!! that's what makes us one... and what's that? THAT IS LOVE!!

Jesus.. He did nothing wrong.. He did all kinds of great and wonderful things!! all in the name of God.. all in the name of love!! yet, what did He get in return?? hatred.. insults.. persercutions.. and even death on a cross!! as love cannot be destroyed [not even by death!!], He rose again on the third day!! [YAY!!((:] and why? ITS BECAUSE OF LOVE!! Jesus has been showing acts of love even till death.. the hardest lesson.... love your enemies..... Jesus could even forgive His murderers!! that's how great His love for all is!!!!!

ok that sounded like some imba story..... it isnt hor!!

love your enemies... is it really that hard...? no.. rephrase.. is it really that easy? nono.. rephrase!! is it really that difficult? yes!! it is!! no wait it isnt!! is jus whether we want to or not... but think about it.. if they are called our enemies and not our friends... den if we DO love them.. den why are they called enemies leh?? rite? rite? see! i so smart!! [yar rite.. smart my foot!!][yes yes i know your foot's smart... but i'm smarter!! =P][ISA!! CUT THE CRAP!! U NEED TO STUDY!!! rmbr??] but no... not all those whom we dun love are called enemies hor...!! cnt possibly say u love a total stranger rite? ohh wait... can actually... coz dere's no strangers?? okok rephrase.. supposedly no strangers.. ahh.. that's better.....

we are all suppose to be imitators of God.. [eh... ok that jus makes us sound like pirated goods.. but no, we're not pirated goods!! ((:] why r we suppose to b imitators of God leh.....? coz GOD IS LOVE!! and we are suppose to SPREAD THE LOVE!! get my point? get my point? no rite? coz too chim alr rite?? =P

but yea.. love.. it's jus such a wonderful thing!! dont u jus agree?! [u hv to hor!!!! or else i smack ur butt!! no la jk...] ((:

ok!! shall end here!! like sudden ending!! lol..... *poof!* i'm gone!! wont be back til 8/9oct!!! or even maybe 7nov!!!!!! coz chiong pw.... yeps... once agn a reminder to all.....

I'LL BE UNCONTACTABLE THROUGH SMS AND MOST PROB ONLINE AS WELL TILL 8OCT!! so dun complain i nvr reply ur sms hor!!!! dun say i nvr say!! =P

2008-09-01T23:37:00.007+08:00

hv nt updated fer awhile... well nth much perhaps...? ok nt exactly nth much... LOL!!

went to watch fireworks w dear 2saturdays ago.. ((: yeaps. [shal nt go into details la]

over d past week.. 2weeks rather.. hv been going out w dear v often.. like last week was.. WOW... haha... den this week not tt often but still.. hahah... ((:

friday.. teachers' day.. celebration in cjc. nt tt fantastic but at least it ended EARLY! lyk at 10!!! haha..!! den went to sjc... met jes nic shihua elaine n kaiwen at srjc busstop den go down tghr... den met ger at sjc busstop.. yeps... watched d youth day performance put up by d tchrs... [coz we missed d rest duh].. went into the staff room much much earlier than usual! and it was practically empty!! only a few teachers arnd.. so lyk catch up with them.... w mr sim sayin est n i stil look alike since sec1... w ms chia saying cjcians chinese cmi [not rly lo! haha!]... mr lim talking abt cjc... den aftr tt d staff room soon got flooded w students!! mrs talking abt the gd ol' days we all had tghr in 4f... miss those times!! rly regret nt appreciating those days.... sighs..... den also talk abt frogs n frog legs!!! very erxin!! but also very lame.. den see bec freaking out.. lol.. v funny.. ohh thanks for the lollipop!!((: den went to find mr pang.. talked awhile b4 he got flooded w sec5 students.. so i was lyk cut short.. den told him i'll go back aftr promos den contd talking frm dere.. if nt lyk jes ger bec they all waiting fer me den i waiting fer him to talk to d sec5 students finish den lyk wait forever la... so yea.. I'LL BE BACK!!! aftr tt we took 136 to kovan and BECCA PS US TO GO MEET SOMEONE!! tsk!! ger jes est rau viv and i went to pizza hut to eat.. nice nice! but cn go broke la!!!! $8.50 leh! ok nt say i eat tt v often so ITS OK!!((: walked arnd hlm fer awhile den went to city hall w rau jes n ger... while viv n est go compass.....reached city hall den walked thru city link mall n lyk practically entered every watch shop.. den went to suntec... n aftr awhile rau ps us to meet someone also... so jes ger n i jus contd walking lo.. lyk frm twr5 to twr 2 to twr 1 to twr 3... den yar i ps them............ HAHA!! =P but anws.. THANKS GER N JES FOR CHOOSING THE TABLE LAMP!!!!!!!! n THANKS TO THE REST WHO CONTRIBUTED TO IT TOO!!((:

sunday.. went IT fair w my sis n her frens.. ok i was kinda extra dere la.. but oh wells.. den went to eat at fish&co for dinner... $19.80!! siao!! rahh!! T_T slpt at lyk 3am.. coz of one stupid phone call in d middle of d nite....

monday.. kinda wasted also.. or rather totally wasted..woke up at 1030? had breakfast use d com fer awhile cooked lunch went metro w mum went home bathe went to meet dear.. den went amk w dear to meet sis n jiasin n watch wall-e... nice movie!! ((:

tues do pw.. nt say v productive.... T_T

wed went sch fer lesson.. celebrated joy wf pok n jw bdays.... had water fight.. but i was rather dry aftr everything whn everyone else was drenched to d skin....!!! den went to study den went home...

tdae... did pw in sch til 4pm... den come home slpt til 730pm.. n ya nw im blogging lo...

25days to promos.. im screwed!!sighs..hv alot on my mind but dun wan blog abt them nw.. rather tt was suppose to b my whole pt of blogging.. but yar ended up nt d case.. dun wan contd le other days den blog... in d meantime i'll jus kp thinking nonstop abt those things lo...........

ATTN PEOPLE!! TRY NOT TO CONTACT ME THRU SMS TILL 8OCT!! THANKS!!!

2008-08-17T23:35:00.003+08:00

haiz... this is rly too much!! way too much!! that i rly jus wish i can vanish from the face of this earth right now....!! everything just isnt right at all!! everything ranging frm.. at home.. in sch.. in church.. JUST SIMPLY EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE! im like a living robot.. expected to obey orders all the way throughout my entire life and not have my own decisions made n carried out... what is this man!!!! i'm human! i have my rights! i can think for myself! i know exactly what i want! [do i?] i can make decisions for myself! even if they are the wrong decisions i can learn from my mistakes! that's the only way i can learn to grow! isnt it?! if i jus keep doing what others tell me to do what shit can i learn la! if im forced to do smth wht shit cn i learn frm it!? haiz dun wan to say too much also..... im jus sick n tired of life!!! right here n right now, i just feel like ending it la.... but no i WONT!! that will b so pointless!!! i rather suffer temporarily on earth than enternity in hell..... i wont give in so easily!!! even if things dun go my way [as it always does]..... just give me a break ok!!!! or i might jus go mad!! no wait.. im alr mad.... ok nvm!!! im talking a whole lot of rubbish..... rly going crazy alr!! no no.. wait agn... im alr crazy.... ok so lets say.... im getting crazier!!!!! not in tt good sense of crazy.. eh den agn crazy nt gd at all wht m i talking..... ok not as in zi high or high kind of crazy but crazy crazy.... lyk everything jus totally out of control......... im seriously such a failure la...... my own life cnt even control.. my own problems cnt even resolve... own health cnt even take care... own work cnt even do... yet stil wan to help others w their probs wan take care of others wan others to take care wan help others w their work................ what am i thinking sia!!!!! i must really really be mad to even think that that will actually work out........... how wrong!!!! sighs..... perhaps i just shouldnt bother about the lifes of others..... its their life! they want to do wht i cnt stop them coz ultimately its THEIR LIFE! im not in control [neither are they tho]

2008-07-22T20:25:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESLYN!! [20080727]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEBASTIAN!!! [20080729]

it has been awhile since ive updated bah... lyk eh 2 weeks le? yeaps.. nth much to update on also actually...

well the past 2 weeks hv been real crazy... reaching home at almost 9pm every nite fer the first week [11+pm on wed n fri] and slping at almost 2am every night fer the past 2 weeks... siao la!! lyk walking zombie invading cjc... =P and jus whn i thot it was over... its back once agn!! T_T

Labor Moris II [cjc guitar concert] on 18jul... yea it went well!! yay!! ((:
NDP dinner performance 2008 at Hougang CC on 26jul.. not v well done coz we cldnt be heard? but yea... its over!

sch is lyk getting more sian w each passing day... lyk.. haiz.......... lyk no meaning at all la.. sighs.. sad life jiu shi sad life........ no comments on tt....

"you're precious; you're priceless; and you're greatly loved" [my msn pm]
smth tt came to my mind out of randomness n refuses to leave... so i'll jus take it as a reminder of what God has to say to me... (:
dear, i'm rly sry for saturday and sunday night, and last night as well k? didnt mean to cause u to worry de.. u jiayou and be strong k? (: take great care! misses n loves you loads <3

2008-07-13T11:19:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEKIE!!!

i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired...!!!

ok i seem to be brainwashing myself with that line... sighs... am i really that tired? i guess i am... BOTH physically AND mentally... have not been sleeping that well the past few weeks.. either i go to bed super super late and as a result hving only a max of 3hrs slp.. or i go to slp early but keep waking up at odd timings... or i cant slp at all... dunno why also.. i feel troubled inside but i dunno wht's exactly troubling me.. mentally... hmm.. mb i think too much.. mb im over paranoid.. i dunno wht's wrong w me... is lyk sometimes i really feel so exhausted by everything that's happening around me... and by saying everything i really mean everything... haiz.. dun ask...

rahh.. wht's happening to all my frens arnd me? i thot emo season over le? why everyone starting to emo agn? sighs.. seeing them all stressed out by various things that's happening all around i also dun feel gd la.. lyk everyone's stressed out, feeling troubled and all [i dun deny tt i am as well], but yet there's so lil that i can do to help them lighten their load... make me feel lyk such a loser.. such a bad friend... sighs..

this term or mayb the whole of this sem i'll be super screwed... i mean its lyk only 3weeks of sch.. and i dun think i cn catch up w wht they hv been teaching.. im lyk lagging behind agn.. and i can barely concentrate during lecs n tuts.... by the time i reach home frm sch daily im alr too tired to study at all. no matter how hard i try to conc in sch it seems alil impossible. at home.. even now.. or rather jus nw i tried to do my homework but aftr staring at the math book fer sooooooooooooooo long, abt 2hrs [yes rly its abt 2hrs], i stil hvnt start on anything. i jus stare blankly at d qn... sighs..

2008-07-09T20:52:00.003+08:00

sighs... i feel that like a big failure la!! and that ive brought disappointment to many ppl around me.. especially my parents and someone else whom i shall not mention who here and perhaps another whom i shall not mention as well but for a totally different reason.. and also, im greatly disappointed with myself... sighs..

results arent very good... got back for all my H2 alr... 2s 1b... it tt suppose to be good or bad?! phy n math S... MATH LEH! of all subj!!! wth la... i was expecting better de lo..... sighs...... rahh!!! such a failure la........ boo...... phy totally tyco.. was expecting U-grade de........... chemistry.... quite ok la.. B..... but aftr chcking the papers i realised i cld hv easily gotten an A if i didnt make those careless mistakes!!! loss alot of marks dere....... rahh!!! sighs... ok no point in me complaining here.. wht's done is done.. i cn only move on n work harder........ ohh... n i failed GP.... T_T

the other day i "went" on a wild roller coaster ride... super wild one!!! ok not me but my emotions la....... i really felt like giving up totally.. on every single thing possible...... friends, schwrk, myself......... yar everything la........... i dunno wht went wrong w me......... sighs... yea.. i noe if i gave up on smth i wld regret it for the rest of my life..... but if giving up on tt smth wld actually perhaps make things better, i wld actually willingly give tt smth up....... even if it means to regret it forever.......... i think it wld be worth its while... ohh wells....... IM NOT GONNA GIVE UP!!!! IM NOT GONNA LET GO OF ANYTHING!! ISA WILL HOLD ON TO THE END!!!

stress!!! i feel/fear tt i'll disappoint her agn...... i dunno if im being paranoid or wht la... but i feel tt she expected better from me........ n i somehow feel that she's tt bit disappointed... sighs..... mb im thinking too much... btw dun ask who the her is referring to......

sighs... i think im a great disappointment to him as well... sighs... im jus feel lyk a total baddie now.. disappointing everyone arnd me... n causing them loads and loads of needless endless worries... rahh!! i dun wanna disappoint anyone further... but seems lyk the more i try not to, the more i end up disappointing them....... dun ask who the him is referring to as well... n dont even bother guessing the him n her ive mentioned... if you know you know if you dont you dont no point asking....

you give me wings when im falling you lift me up when im down you lift me high touching the sky you make me fly

2008-07-06T14:38:00.002+08:00

what a week!! i dun think ive been so tired for v long before... lyk one week! no joke la... dunno why im so tired also... the past week seem to take super long to pass la... lyk everyday seemed longer than 24hrs la!! im jus super exhausted... dunno how im gonna survive...

exams are over... [did i mention abt it in my previous post? lol.. ok i think i did...] yeps..... monday went out w class ppl to cineleisure... went kbox... quite fun la.... but half way thru i was rly super tired den kinda sian diao dere... but pretended not to be la.... tues.. start of sch... sian day... chiong eom at night frm i dunno wad time til 3:30am.... slpt at abt 4am woke up at 5plus... wed.. wasnt v awake in sch.... was lyk an empty shell moving along... slpt early on wed night...... thurs... long day coz got pe.... soccer... hmm...... dun rly think im gonna enjoy... idk.... den suppose to go watch movie w chris b4 he goes to aus for wyd but end up nvr go..... fri.. was feeling lyk super cold the whole day... took 2 ppl's jckt of which 1 ive yet to return... oral kinda screwed... guitar camp.... quite ok la.. was v drained out so i wldnt sae i enjoyed it much.... dun hv d energy to go enjoy myself....den i was so slpy tt i play d guitar until i fell aslp.. as in my mind drifted far far away... so i was only awake physically..... mentally dunno go whr le...... den end up kp playing wrong things...... fer 2 whole days leh..... sat... reach home at 5:10pm... slpt til 9:30pm.. my dad woke me up ask me if i wanted dinner.. den i said dun wan n wanted to go back to slp.... but cldnt.. coz i was tired le... so went to hunt fer food den use d com fer awhile n contd slpin... was hving slight fever den.... this mrng.. woke up wasnt feeling tt well so i went back to slp til abt 8:45am... wanted to go 9:15am mass but no one pei wo... so went 11am mass w sebkoh... i was lyk late... reached dere 11:05am and it was alr psalm.. lyk so fast!! they must hv either started early or chiong the first part of the mass!!! seb pro la... reach aftr homily!! was standing at the door dere.. den it started to rain... so ppl were lyk squeezin past us fer shelter.... yea.. talked to him abt random things... den aftr mass the rain got heavier.. so we went to sacristy tt side.... saw sebsoon.... nt bad sia.. nw quite tanned n he dun look weird w no hair... haha..... but stil as skinny as ever..... yea... den went to 401 in the drizzle... sat n talk dere fer awhile w matt alvyn vanessa sebkoh jerome n his wife.. didnt eat tho.. coz dad cooked my lunch... den went to 7-11 w matt n sebkoh.... [seb... thanks for the drink!(:] yeaps.. den made my way home lo... since the rest of them had to go fer lectors meeting..... n so here i am blogging... n im falling aslp......

ohh i think im v pro... if u agree w me tell me!! tell u wht happened.... i fell down 4 times in 2 days!! thus n fri... thurs was during pe... was kind tired den wasnt looking whr i was dribbling the ball to den i tripped over it n fell...... fri.. more pro.. i fell 3tyms!!! aftr break while gg up the stairs w liqun jessie n yihui... i tripped.. dunno y also.. nvm leh.. i got up.. took another step n tripped AGAIN!!! so its lyk 2 tyms in a row!!!!!!! freak la... den at night during alfresco....... or rather aftr alfresco while gg up the stairs.... i tripped yet AGAIN! its either smth wrong w me, i wasnt awake, or the stairs in cjc rly had smth against me tt day...... now tell me... AINT I PRO?!

2008-06-28T18:51:00.003+08:00

exams are FINALLY OVER... yay... i survived!

after chem spa ytd, went to far east walk walk w the class..... aftr tt went to meet kevin weekie and ger at raffles city's food junction.. didnt eat coz bo lui.... aftr dinner went to walk walk at the market place... to whoever that $1.10 belonged to.. thanks for the coffee flavoured milk(: yeps.. the concert was.......... eh.... hurhur.. the lights were super irritating!! but the slow songs were nice.... left during intermission tho.... but heard that all the songs after intermission were much much better.... kevin pro la... fell aslp during the concert... i sit dere tou xiao... den end up awhile ltr also kinda fell aslp... anws.. aftr we left, went to chijmes... wanted to emo dere but lyk so crowded... den jus stand at the railing dere... weekie n ger were lyk cam whoring.... while kevin n i were watching the tennis match frm the screen and commenting.... kinda fun n funny... awhile ltr we trained to dhoby n walk walk at carrefour...... quite funny dere... ger wan tie her shoelace den lyk we were all at diff corners... weekie was beside her, kevin was in front at the other end.. i was behind at the other end.... lyk -.-" la.... went up to the lvl1 de... walk walk talk crap... kevin bought 1 bottle of apple juice den 4 of us shared..... lyk we stood outside carrefour in a circle [rather square coz 4ppl] n passed d bottle frm 1 person to the next till abt half the bottle was empty.......... den walked ger to the bus stop... gosh..... GER! ur hp ok not?! pro la... run den drop it n u stil cn kick it...... anws hope u didnt reach home too late n tt ur db competition went well tdae.... (: haha.... ok contd..... so left 3 of us....... we stood outside d mrt station n passed d bottle arnd agn to finish d apple juice b4 going in.... trained back to hougang [duh].... reached hougang at abt 11? den hgm closed liao so had to walk along the outside of hgm..... yea.. reached home at abt.... 11:15 lyk tt........ yea.... tt's abt it fer friday? (: oh... kevin thanks for walking home w me.. tho u lyk also alil bo bian rite? coz shun lu..... LOL..... unless u took a bus.. BWAHAHAHA! =P

woke up LATE this mrng.... suppose to leave d hse btwn 0830 to 0845 i ended up leaving at 0855! n d bus only came at 0905!! n my appointment was at 0930..... reached the clinic slightly late... lucky got no one la!!!! so i didnt have to wait.... wah gosh... she tighten the braces super painful sia.... nearly cried while she was tightening it lo........ anws realised tt upon rushing lyk siao in the mrng i 4got to withdraw $100... so aftr dental went outside d clinic withdraw d money den went back to pay.... yeps.... den went to the busstop.. wanted to take 80 to aljunied station den train down to bishan.. end up i realised 155 went to toa payoh int... since both buses came at the same time, n 155 was in front, i took 155 instead... slpt in the bus all the way..... gosh! now i know y circuit road is called circuit road!!! IT GOES ONE BIG ROUND!!!! lyk siao la...... den at toa payoh int i was thinking if i shld take 88 or mrt...... ok took 88 la.... 7 stops nia mah... met vivien.. went to toa payoh library..... sat at lvl 2 dere to read........ ohh the sign lang book super interesting la... lol! anws... read till abt 1pm? borrowed books den went to s11 buy lunch... bought mixed food... w egg, egg and tofu... LOL! since s11 was crowded, we bought take aways den went to vivien's hse to eat.... aftr tt went parkway parade w vivien, her mum n her bro..... walked at boarders fer i dunno how long w vivien... or rather, she went to look at manga den i walked away to the "inspirational" section..... actually is the "bible" section but the "inspirational" section was jus beside it.... end up i stood dere n read 2 whole books! lol..... summarised abt a quarter of 1 book in msg form... den d other book i got lazy n i jus took photo of wht i wanted.... den vivien pulled me to i dunno which section la... but i rmbred d shelf opp tt section was parenting.... saw this book tt's smth abt how to bring up boys to become gentlemen.. smth along tt line.... so we were saying... dere isnt any on how to bring up girls coz we are exceptional.... and we all noe how to b graceful ladies naturally so dun need to b taught..... LOL.. ohh den dere's 2 other books on how parents should communicate with teens... understanding your teen or smth lyk tt.... yeps...... at the next shelf... we saw this book.... "1001 ways of what being a mum means"... quite interesting..... tho i TOTALLY DISAGREE with some of the points dere... but i definately do agree with some of them as well.... ohh den i gave up reading it halfway n read a recipe book..... lyk food for your kids..... so nice la! feel lyk asking my mummy to buy den make fer me.. or if she allow i cn make fer myself..... hahah! but den agn.. waste money la... lol! yea aftr tt went to Giant..... and den starbucks.... VIVIEN! HELP ME THANK YOUR MUM FOR THE COFFEE FLAVOURED MILK AND THE GREEN TEA FRAPPE! $7 altghr leh! i feel so bad la..... den on the way back, in the car.... i dunno y, but suddenly felt lyk puking... n its not not feeling well den wanna puke leh..... so was lyk controlling it... til rly cannot tahan, den driving at eunos dere i suddenly asked for plastic bag n puked... tho lyk gt nth to puke also..... haha.. vivien freaked out la... so funny..... but.. vivien.. sry ar make u freak out.. LOL......... her mum drop me off at the 87 busstop opp eunos technolink..... reached home nt rly feeling any better but aftr while dunno y ok liao....... didnt hv dinner coz i scared i eat le will puke agn..... mb go drink smth ltr....... yeps... tt's abt all fer tdae............?

jessie n joy: sry!! nvr go meet u ppl at fareast!! some other tym k? rly sry last minute ps u ppl.... =X

Managing Your Emotions - Joyce Meyer

Emotions -> ex-movere in Latin => means to move away
An emotional person is someone who is easily affected with or stirred by emotions.

Four Personality Types:
1] Choleric - born leaders; always want to be in control
2] Phlegmatic - shows little or no emotion at all
3] Sanguine - bubbly and seems to bounce through life
4] Melancholy - most trouble with depression; deep people -- the thinkers-- the organizers

Emotionalism - a tendency to rely on or place too much value on emotion; excessive display of emotion
Emotionalist - one whose conduct is ruled by emotion as opposed to reason.

Face the truth; Confess your faults; Adnit the truth to yourself; Receive forgiveness and forget your sin; Acknowledge yourself as a new creature; Assume personal responsibility; Follow the Spirit of truth.

smth tt i read under the "emotionalist" part.... ever felt guilty of saying things you've said in an outburst of emotion, and felt lyk taking all your words back after saying them? in an outburst of emotion, people say things rashly... after that they will say "Oh! i should have just kept my mouth shut!"... something simple can turn into something drastic just because of that few words said during a sudden outburst of emotion....

i so totally agree with the para above... for many reasons i shall not mention...... and dont even bother asking...

1001 ways of what being a mum means....
- being a mum means having your kids ask you for money because they know better than to ask their dad.
- being a mum means wanting to tell your kids how to fix every problem in their life, but all they want you to do is listen.

the joy of loving - Mother Theresa

Once you know you have hurt someone be the first to say sorry. we cannot forgive unless we know that we need forgiveness and forgiveness is the beginning of love.

Love cannot remain by itself - it has no meaning. love has to be put into action and that action is service. a mission of love can come only from union with God. from that union, love for the family, love for one's neighbour, love for the poor is the natural fruit.

It is important for us to realise that love, to be true, has to hurt. i must be willing to give whateber it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good to them. this requires that i be willing to give until it hurts. otherwise there is no true love in me and i bring injustice, not peace, to those around me.

It is easy to smile at people outside your own home. it is so easy to take care of the people that you don't know well. it is difficult to be thoughtful and kind and to smile and be loving to your own in the house day after day, especially when we are tired and in a bad temper or bad mood. we all have these moments and that is the time that Christ comes to us in a distressing disguise.

love is letting the ones you love have the greatest happiness. [Ai4 shi4 rang4 ni3 suo3 ai4 de4 ren2 de2 dao4 zui4 da4 de4 xing4 fu2][sry lappie cnt type chinese...]
it feels like i'm drifting further away from you tho i dont want to... u seem a total stranger to me now... why? or is it jus me? have i changed? sighs... i somehow feel like i dont know myself anymore... am i still the person i used to be? sighs... im rly very sorry for everything...

2008-06-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

what makes Isa, Isa.........
- that bit of insanity
- zi high-ness
- high-ness
- craziness
- freaking out for no reason
- stressing out over nth
- all that emo-ness
- more insanity
- lame-ness
- retard-ness
- some acts of stupidity
- that tiny bit of sanity
- and even more emo-ness.....
and you'll get.... ISA!! woohoo!!! yay!! -.-"

sry exam stress... lol....! need to destress by talking rubbish... hahahha..... boo!! i think i rly gg crazy liao.... everyday emo aftr the pp den suddenly zi high for awhile den emo agn....... and i think i seriously dun make sense at all anymore la............ rahh!!! gosh..... if only i cn zi high forever....... den i wont think abt anything at all........... sighs...... but tt wld b super tiring................ den wht cn i do?! cannot emo cannot zi high..... be myself....................................... i NEED find myself first b4 i cn even be myself!

EXAMS SUCKS!!! SCREW IT!!! IM SOOOOOOO GONNA FAIL!!! T_T i wonder how long more will i be able to stay in cjc......

2008-06-23T10:48:00.004+08:00

for the past few days.... i must say.. i didnt rly slp tt well..... i cn jus lie in bed.. and no matter how slpy i am... i jus cnt fall aslp...... sighs...... too much have been running through my mind....... it feels lyk if anything more is gonna be added..... my mind will jus explode.... overload... overflow..... rahh!!

ISA!! WHAT'S WITH YOU LA!! sighs....................

over the past few days... people have been telling me i look very troubled and tired........ i guess i jus need a break and some breathing space bah............

why? why do i bother so much....? somehow i feel that i should just not bother so much at all.... and i should actually start looking for myself first........ but somehow.. i'm just unable to do that........!! why why why why why! -silence-

just for that short while.. that few hours.... and i nearly went mad....!!! sigh....

i guess i'm just too afraid to lose you.... don't wanna be apart from you... T_T

can someone answer me this...... am i caring more than i should?

Fear for the Lord

2008-06-23T09:51:00.004+08:00

Gospel - Matthew 10: 26-33

"So do not be afraid of people. Whatever is now covered up will be uncovered, and every secret will be made known. What I am telling you in the dark you must repeat in broad daylight, and what you have heard in private you must announce from the housetops. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather be afraid of God, who can destroy body and soul in hell. For only a penny you can buy two sparrows, yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's consent. As for you, even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows!
"Those who declare publicly that they belong to me, I will do the same for them before my Father in heaven. But those who reject me publicly, I will reject before my Father in heaven."

that was the Gospel passage for yesterday... it was also the reflection passage for the prayer session on friday...

ok so i'll start off with friday...
before adoration, Brother Nic read that passage for us to reflect on.... somehow all the times when he read the passage, this line kept repeating itself in my mind... "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather be afraid of God, who can destroy body and soul in hell." i kept thinking.. why did that line keep repeating in my mind...... i knew God was trying to tell me smth... but i just couldnt clear and calm my mind to listen to His voice...... each time i tried to listen and search for His voice... i'll get super distracted... not by the noise around me [it was rather quiet around me la....]... but rather, i'll get distracted by my own thoughts.... fear that i might do badly for my upcoming midyears.... plus i keep thinking of all that's happening around me..... sigh.. i dunno why i think so much also.... dunno y i even allow minor things around me affect me so badly....... rahh!!!

ytd i didnt attend mass at Nativity.. instead i attended mass at St Anne's.... during the homily...... the priest said smth lyk...... fear is not exactly a feeling..... but somewhat a sign that shows we are afraid... why do we need to fear God? we're all sinners.... God has the power to send us to hell and destroy both our body and soul, forever! why do we fear God? we have trust, respect, and reverence for Him. we have faith in Him.. we believe that He is all-knowing....

suddenly during the homily it all clicked........... just for that moment in time.... ok apparently as you can see i cant rly rmbr it le..... so what was God exactly trying to say to me...............? sigh.... i guess i jus have to listen more..... and not get distracted so easily............. is that possible? i rly cnt seem to take things off my mind at all........ no matter how much i tell myself not to think abt it..... not to bother abt it........... i just cant bring myself to do it................ why? why? why? am i caring too much? sighs............ someone! enlighten me! what should i do?!

2008-06-19T00:41:00.004+08:00

sighs.... i wonder wad's in the mind of the ppl arnd me these days.... esp my family.. its lyk whn i dun talk to them and do my own things etc they say i dun bother abt them always nvr talk to them say wht to me family is nth n frens are more impt than them etc etc etc... den tdae... i made an effort to talk to them... help them with the chores at home etc..... then they say i talk alot.... say im not being myself.... so if i jus be myself = i dun talk much to them la......!!! hiyah!!! its lyk whtevr i do they sure hv smth to complain abt de la!!! dunno wad's wrong w them!!! rahh!

wht will you do whn ure caught in the middle? trapped? with no where to do? and there's nothing much you can do about things? haiz oh wells...

rahh!! my whole week kinda screwed up... like i wanna study den gt headache also cnt conc... the best thing of the week!! i fell sick!! n im stil sick!! YAY?! gosh siao... lyk frm normal cold... den apparently it got worse.... n nw lyk im nt suprised if its viral infection luh.... hving stupid sore throat as well... wont b surprised if i lose my voice as well lo...... den i dun even noe if im hving fever... mb on n off? haiz... haiyur!!! rahh!!!!! den my hair also screwed! shldnt hv cut until so short....... ok nt v short ppl say i cut machiam dun cut..... but stil... EEYUR!! den lyk my fringe long nt long short nt short.......... but im so not used to it luh!!!!! haiz..... somehow i always regret cutting hair de... rather... trimming.... rawrr!! boo......

this is for those of you out there who are wondering wad's w my msn pm [sub-nick]...... its a line from the song "all my life" ok? haha... its nativity's camp dance la.... yeps..... for those of you who nvr heard of that song.. n also dun believe me.... cn jus ask me fer tt song la..... (:
for those who are wondering abt my msn nick........ its also song lyrics..... LOL..... frm d song "who am i".... eh this.. i dun hv the song.. but u cn go find song lyrics...... its by casting crowns..... (:

HAHAH! ok tt was rly random i guess.... bleah...

2008-06-16T21:37:00.003+08:00

wah siao!! i spent $196 at one go tday! gosh!! heartache sia!! just on bag!! ok la den agn i bought 2.. gosh... wah my sis better pay me back soon sia!! rahh!! T_T feel so broke la...
sighs.. listening to all those songs reminds me of you... T_T so emo la... sighs... hope that all is well for you... perhaps you know it perhaps you dont perhaps youre jus pretending that you dont idk... whtevr d case... hope ull stop thinking d way u do...

InspireMe

2008-06-16T15:55:00.001+08:00

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. -Wilt Chamberlain-

God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends. -Ethel Watts Mumford-

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. -Anonymous-

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance. -Harrison Ford-

It's easier to prepare and prevent, than to repair and repent. -Anonymous-

You have not lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you. -Anonymous-

Hope is like a bired that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark. -Anonymous-

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. -Mohandas K. Gandhi-

You may be on the right track, but if you just sit there you'll get run over. -Paul H. Dunn-

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. -Anonymous-

Kindness is a language which the dumb can speak, the deaf can understand. -C.N. Bovee-

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -Bertrand Russell-

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do. -Anonymous-

The woman's vision is deep reaching, the man's far reaching. With the man the world is his heart, with the woman the heart is her world. -Betty Grable-

There are two types of people. Those who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say,"Ah, there you are." -Frederick L. Collins-

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. -John Lyly-

Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan. -Margaret Thatcher-

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. -Arnold Haultain-

2008-06-16T14:47:00.002+08:00

finally a closure to Fathers' Day celebration!! ok not that i'm complaining or what la... but yar it was really tiring.. esp on sat n sun... lyk in church frm 1pm on saturday til 2pm on sunday.... with only 5hrs of slp at home.. no joke lo.... super tiring la... but it was fun la... anws.. thanks to those who came down to help out.. esp those who were dere on both days.. to the exco... rly fun wrking w u ppl yea? haha... eh dear.. the tang yuan can keep so long meh? eh u better check first sia.. dun think cn keep that long... den u also need confirm w chris la.... yepyep... (: hahaha.. eh.. ppl... stop it abt the superman discount thing la!! lol... why must i give him discount? lol... he nvr do his job properly as an OH lol.... ROFL!! jkjk... but yar nt say i wan give discount den give wad... wad? i pay fer him meh? lol!!! n since whn did i change my name ar? now everyone's calling me lois... haha... okok.. but at least i had fun w u ppl la... cheers!

Nativity Youth Camp 2008 (cont'd)

2008-06-13T21:16:00.006+08:00

Session One - Ask

Ask and you shall receive; Seek and you shall find; Knock and the door shall be opened unto you. -Matt 7:7-
~prayer

Request vs Demand
request is the readiness to accept "no" for an answer. on the other hand, when one demands for something, the answer wanted must be a "yes", the person will not take "no" for an answer, and will be angry if s/he receives a "no".

-make good use of what God has given
-we accept reality the way it is because we have trust in God
- we must grow to understand in time why things do not always go the way we've planned and why things happen the way they are

When you pray, do not use a lot of meaningless words, as the pagans do, who think that their gods will hear them because their prayers are long. Do not be like them. Your Father already knows what you need before you ask him. -Matt 6:7 - 8-

- know and appreciate who God is
- God knows exactly what we want and need even before we pray
-> why pray?
=> to show acceptance towards others and God
=> to acknowledge that we're not God and that not all things are within our control
=> admit powerlessness

The 5 Fingers of Prayer:
Thumb -> Family and friends
Pointer -> those in authority
Middle finger -> Enemies
Ring finger -> the weak [elderly; sick; poor; disadvantaged etc.]
Pinky -> yourself

Need to pray:
- not for ourselves but others
- don't pray they will change
- don't try to change people through prayers
- prayer reflects daily attitude
- pray for the grace to accept others
- bless the person
- accept them
- pray for forgiveness
- ask for guidance through the processes leading to the outcome and not ask for the outcome itself to happen

Session Two - Seek

Fr Kenson started off by letting us listen to "peanut butter sandwiches"... then also let us listen to the song "contra"... v interesting songs indeed! the whole point of asking us to listen to them was to see if we could filter what we listen... ended up for the first song we cld only rmbr "i love peanut butter sandwiches.....!" and for the second song "up up down up down left right left right A B A B select start"...

- Listen to the softest sound
-> God's voice
- filter everything else out
- be sensitive to surroundings
- be alert
- believe
- patience to listen
- God knows everything but does not decide everything
- God gives us the chance to help others and a chance for ourselves to allow others to help us
- Listen not only with our ears, but also with our hearts
- acknowledge powerlessness
- Jesus is our "code" in life

Session Three - Receive

one question to ask.... Do you love God?

As a leader, one needs to pass down:
- skills
- message
- knowledge -> ss
- attitude
- responsibility
- virtues
- values

spirituality => way of life

summary of session one by Bro. Samuel:
- ask and take action and God will make perfection
- Prayer => petition; intercession
- humility bofore God
- we tend to treat God like a vending machne => no relationship => must establish and build it
- humble ourselves to ask
- ask -> conversation -> connection -> relationship with others
- relationship with God = life [vice versa]
-> communication => prayer; Bible
-> write letter
-> listen
-> support => moral; encouragement
-> birthday => sing song; cut cake; food; presents
- > celebration with God => mass
- sacrement => outward expression of inward grace
=> no relationship = outward expression useless

summary of session two by Bro. Samuel:
- listening
- filtering
- distraction
- God is all knowing

LISTEN
SILENT
silence
presence

How to pray:
[A]doration - reflect on how small we are and how big God is
[C]ontrition - before asking for anything ask for forgiveness first
[T]hanksgiving
[S]upplication - ask

[A]dvocate - Holy Spirit
[B]e still
[C]hrist
[D]istractions -> filter out => entertain them
[E]njoy

Diff between Catholics and Christians?
Christians use the Eucharist as a symbol only -> real Jesus during mass only
for Catholics, host once consecrated => always consecrated

In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. -Romans 8:26-
Col 1:15....... The Person and Work of Christ
Matt 10
John 15:5.......... Jesus the Real Vine
Be still and know that I am God. -Psalm 46:10-

Session Four

we were given 3 paper man.. linked together... on the center we write abt the "now" us... on the left, the "past" us.. on the right, the "future" us that we wanna be..

- describe yourself in 2 to 3 lines
- write a single adj that summarises that description
- who is Jesus to you
- on a rating of 1 to 10, write down how much Jesus has impacted you

i must admit.. this session really got me to think and reflect ALOT!! suddenly loads of thoughts just gushed in.... esp whn we had to write abt the present and the past........ wah really lyk cn totally go into emo mood agn la.... but i had to stop myself coz i told myself that i'll put aside everything, what ever problems that i face etc.... and not to emo... yeps.. and i managed to do it ok!! yea but that really made me feel lyk going back in time agn.... sighs....

some messages to people......

everyone in general: hey ppl out there! if any one of you have the following songs cn send them to me? Great in Power by hillsongs. I'm Yours by jason mraz. Who am I? by casting crowns. thanks!! ohh.. and also.. THANKS FOR ALL THE WARM FUZZIES!!!! (:

andrea: hey dear! thanks for accompanying me throughout all the slack time during camp! (: it was really great to have you around... don't be too stressed by the fathers' day thing ok? everythng will turn out jus fine yea?

weekie: yoz! 2nd youngest facil... thanks for that warm fuzzie...! the drawing was v spas tho.. guess u were lyk that bored huh... nice boarder tho... (: yea another year has passed since nyc07 and now even nyc08 is over!! T_T haha... wht u wrote lyk alil similar to wht i wrote sia... abt being back tghr in cjc agn... hope uve been fine too... eh i whr gt emo? rolf... u emo girl... so match *ahem*.. mickey! heh.. yea lo.. so lil ppl!! sian diao.... but so lil ppl n i stil didnt manage to write fer everyone!! sian..... yea i miss those times as well... yeps we cnt turn back time.. but we cn always relieve those mmrs tghr agn... (: ohh btw sry i think i didnt really manage to fulfil the vocation... sighs... did i?

ger: meimei.. thanks for listening to my rants during camp... dun stress out by schwrk k? need help jus ask.. (:

seb: heys! take care in army! and thanks for everything... (: rly enjoyed your company at camp....

kev: yoz kevin! thanks for the warm fuzzie.. eh dont mention la.. yea.. u cn always rely on that bah.. (: even if we dont go to the same camp yea? if u get wht i mean.. heh.. yeps.. anws thanks for those comment on your blog? heh.. they rly did reassure me.. (: agn... tt's if u noe wht im referring to.. LOL..

to those whom i didnt write to: SO SORRY!! i rly didnt have the time to do so.... but it was great spending thosse 3days with you ppl... i certainly did enjoy myself... thanks for everything!

to those who didnt go for the camp: rly sad that you ppl cldnt go for some reasons or another... your presence were misssed by all of us...... v lil ppl turned up la!!! lyk plus camp comm only abt 40ppl nia.... half of last yr's!!

to those whom i wrote to: hey.. hope you ppl didnt hv a hard time reading what i wrote.. n hope u ppl didnt go blind by reading it.... and if dere were any spelling mistakes.. pardon me...i wrote it when i was half awake....

seb, andrea, ger, weekie and trudy: the 5 ppl whom i wrote i full A4 size page to....... sry if u ppl went "blind" reading...... use magnifying glass next tym.... hmm... mb i shld include tt in next tym... jkjk i nt tt gd.. lol... come to think of it.. those 5 letters rly lyk essay..... sry fer being so longwinded la... but yea... (:

ARII and Nativity Youth Camp 2008

2008-06-12T19:21:00.007+08:00

just came back from camp like abt an hour ago...? i think i shall blog first then i can sleep in peace for the night after that... ok shall start on ARII @ Sentosa then NYC2008...

ARII @ Sentosa

went for mass as usual.. after mass we had super short practice then went to 401 for breakfast.. i went home to change first tho... den went to 401 to meet the rest.. like so cool la.. one whole table [all the ARII organisers] of BRIGHT ORANGE people... den another table jus directly opposite us, full of people wearing BLACK..

anws after breakfast, jas n i walked to hgm tghr.. ppl were lyk staring at us la.. coz we were both wearing super bright orange plus blue fbt... so cool rite? lol... out of the 5 orange tee tt sam gave, mine odd one out la.. sel n manda de is the black sleeve de.. sharr and jas de is the white logo de.. mine is the only one with the black logo...ok.. shall not say wht happened at hgm la.. lol...

in the train... at first jas and i we were lyk "anti-social" la.. everyone at the dividers dere while the both of us were at the other end of the carriage sitting down.. ok but end up we also went over den take pics etc..

at sentosa... woots!! first station was Song of the Sea... they had to try figure out the solfage etc... quite interesting.. they go the tune but forgot the title.. second station.. near the carpark... sight reading/coconut tree counting station... haha.. fun la.. but the counting was crazy... third station was the tanjong beach one... the jigsaw puzzle de... they really dig the sand lyk dogs la... heh... fourth station.. the logic one... the farmer, the rice, the chicken and the fox... haha.. they managed to solve it quite fast sia.. took me quite long lo... fifth was the twin towers charades... haha.. gosh.. super funny la!! had lunch there as well... the sea breeze was shiok la.... sixth station.. after lunch... the cliff.. wah.. super fun... the run all the way up den had to run all the way down to count the steps... rofl la... after the cliff was the visitors' centor.. tt one classic can!! sel and i were walking out.. den they were asking us fer directions so we jus gave them wrong directions... we also purposely walk wrong way den they rly go follow lo!!! crap la... ohh den frm dere... jas and i.. missed the red line.. then sam told us to follow the bus coz he said around the corner got one more bus stop at the merlion.. WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA!! jas and i spent lyk half an hour walking before we reached the next bus stop!!!! wth la... missed 3 red lines! den we took a bus from there to RASA.. which was the 8th station... rest for awhile den we went to imbiah station... where they had to sing "twinkle twinkle little stars" backwards... ohh their favourite line... "?are you wht der won i how" funny la!!! didnt stop at images of singapore [the jumpshot station...] went to palawan beach agn.. took blue line.. and wth... sam left lyk later than us.. by the time jas n i reached beach station he was alr dere!!! lyk !!! heh... crazy la that station... the 7-11 one and the water one... lol.... ohh den we went back to the twin towers for prize presentation, photo taking etc... yeps.. funny la... organisers printed medals for ourselves! and you know what? organisers become orangisers... heh..

anws after the whole thing.. i was contemplating if i should go play sky ride and luge with my choir ppl, go for dinner with choir ppl, or go class bbq... ended up gg for class bbq la.. reached there at lyk 845pm.. whn tt's lyk the time i should leave! hang arnd til 940pm instead b4 walking out.. reached home at lyk 11pm... dad was alil angry but didnt scold la... den tho i was lyk super duper tired, i stayed up til 2am just to type minutes.. took super long to type coz kept fallin aslp...

Monday; 9th June 2008

woke up uber early la.. went to sjc to collect sgc... eeyur my ttml super short! haiz.. den went to kovan to meet viv to study.. plus her primary sch friend... yep.. after tt i reach home, pack my bag, slp, bathe and chiong out of the hse!!!

NYC 2008

Day1

suppose to meet jas at 6pm at IHM bell tower.. but was late.. den reach only at 615pm.... walked over to the retreat hse.. slacked at the common area coz d rest of the facils weren't dere yet... plus camp comm were still hving meeting... den suddenly sebastian came out... he scare himself den end up scaring us as well la..... super funny scene la... slacked around.. bunk in... den went to conference hall play guitar while waiting for them to buy dinner back... had dinner, den camp briefing started... quite interesting... the emotional baggages and the insecurities....... somewhat "fill" them in a cup [water la...] den share it w the rest.. den through the camp must try rid them and welcome God with a completely open heart... after that we had to write a prayer for ourselves, lyk what we wan to achieve during camp... plus one for our conversation buddy.. a prayer of vocation for the camp.... that was all for day1... ohh.. we all waited till midnight coz it was going to be isis' bday! exactly at 12am we sang her a bday song den we tickled her lyk siao.... plus put ice down her tee... from conference hall to dining room... so her first 15min of being 20 was quite fun but eh.... freaky la... lol!!! ohh had choc fer supper.... after that we all went to the dormitories la... andrea and i were lyk doing fathers' day things.. or rather she was doing, i was reading math... den sebastian came in to chit chat... very long nvr talk to him liao la... so lyk the 3 of us jus sit there talk crap lo... plus listen to music.... and i borrowed his windbreaker for the rest of the camp coz there werent any blankets.... den isis came in also..... haha... ohh.... while talking to them, i was standing at the bed dere [double deck] lyk my head resting on the top bed, hugging the windbreaker.. and i fell aslp there while standing!!! and sebas tried to scare me.. but planned failed!! coz i wasnt fully aslp yet so i somehow saw his shadow n sensed that he was standing behind me... after that i went to slp n my own bed...... not long later andrea dear came in and ask me to slp w her in the middle... so ok lo... dragged myself to the bed in the middle n fell aslp there immediately... lol.. ok end of story for that night!

Day2

woke up.. eh... on time.... washed up, had breakfast den went out to meet the campers.... yea.. briefing, bunk in etc... den ice breakers... gosh.... the first one was cool la.. the toilet paper thing... lol... alot of ppl tio tricked... the second was AD creation..... my group.. tao sa pao.. quite dead la... not literally dead.. but lyk everyone so quiet den nt enthu de... den lyk talk to them they no response de... so our grp kena alot of bombings la.... after ice breakers was lunch... followed by OH briefing and session1 by fr siew... after session1 was briefing for internal games, internal games, wash up, dinner, session2, night prayer, supper, debrief, den slp!! internal games was fun.. first station was lyk 2ppl use poles to hold the ball and get thru the spider web to drop the ball into the pail... second one, we had to use our feet to hold up the tub of water thing.. played alot of times during guides the past few years, but the rest nvr heard of it b4... and our grp spilled alot of water la... third station.. hienz roll away.. had to catch the tomato using our cheeks.. 2ppl la... my grp only managed to catch 1.. joch and i.. oh whn doing w christina, the tomato smashed la [coz they reuse!] den my tee and watch all kena tomato juice.. eww... after that was some water bomb cum math game... quite ok la.... den tomato relay... wahaha.. after internal games, we used the tomato and smashed it on isis, plus the left over water bombs... lol.... last yr she also kena!! last yr was crack eggs on her.... went to bathe den study plus write warm fuzzies while waiting fer dinner time... den after dinner contd writing alil more... den had pnw, and session2... lalalala.... night prayer as a whole camp... say the rosary... den my grp had to prepare fer next day's mass w cha siew pao... den had supper... sebastian bought ba zhang as promised.... so nice can... (: had awhile to waste while waiting fer debrief to start.. so jus slack around lo..... den had debrief in logistic room.. gosh super dusty! and meeting was lyk uber long.... 11pm to abt 1am... siao la.....!!! after meeting i scribbled out another 4 warm fuzzies den fell aslp liao... was lyk the first person to fall aslp la!!! didnt even wait fer my dear to come back lo... sry dear!!

Day3

rain lyk siao!!!! woke up late lo.... by half an hour somemore!!! den chiong ar!! end up mass started late... and mass was screwed up lo!! sighs... den had external games.. at cbd area... fun sia!! going around finding the places to take pics... was still raining whn we set off la... but eventually it subsided.... finished our photo stations quite early... den had 3hrs of break... cool rite!? haha.. so we decided to go boat quay n slack... gosh so lucky lo... we cldnt solve our 2nd skill station the clue.. den at boat quay, shaun suddenly said "i think its here! it must be here!" less than 5min later we saw the game stationmasters walking our direction! haha! so bingo! it was dere... but since skills segment only start at 2pm, we had abt 1hr 30min slack time... i jus sat there n stare at the river in the drizzle and fell aslp unknowingly til christina woke me up at lyk 2pm.... gosh... so unglam lo.... everyone fell aslp dere! haha.. that station was fun! but my group looked alil retarded la.... haha.... coz too tired to think so anyhow whack... den we went to opp robinson 77.. lol... quite fun as well.. but once agn we looked lyk retards.. haha...... ohh the cross st de v fun!! jump shot!! "YATAA!!" my grp stood outside some office building just waiting fer ppl to take pic w us... lalalala..... went back ihm retreat hse to bathe..... den i continued writing the warm fuzzies til it was time to go down... OH night.. haha.. my OH wasnt around... so dinner i had a temp OH, joshua, coz his OH wasnt around as well... haha... didnt talk much la.. he damn cute.. haha.. den part 2 of OH night... the dancing part... coz shaun [joshua's OH] came back le den my OH hvnt come back.. so trudy was my temp OH.. haha... fun la......... lyk we didnt dance but rather, watched the rest danced and laughed at them.. ok sounds evil.. but rly v funny la.... haha.... lyk paul said, R&B now stands for.. rub and bua... LOL! after everything i was in the common area with legion af ppl... listening to them talking... den suddenly manuel came in after his training and said "where's my lois lane?"... den i jus sit there keep quiet... den suddenly louis look at me and said "eh? isnt tt you? haha! eh! manuel your OH here la!!" damn funny scenario... after that i went up w dear, wrote some warm fuzzies, den went for debriefing... wah another super long one.... den lyk 3 scandalous pairs sitting consecutively....... andrea and i, trudy and susanna, weekie and ger... lol... and the 3pairs of us were lyk lying on each others shoulders! haha... after meeting, went up to take my things den went to the dining area to write warm fuzzies.. was writing w dear and sebastian... den shaun, luke and louis joined us... andrea seb n i lyk hving mini party dere... all the sweets n chocs to keep us awake.....!! i wrote til 4am... den lyk left dear's one n weekie's one i told them i pass it to them during weekends.... ohh slpin was funny.... coz v cold.. tho i had seb's windbreaker liao i stil shared slpin bag w dear.... den at 5am i went to the toilet.. after that whn i went back to bed i accidentally pulled the slping bag.. den dunno why la... lyk suddenly andrea was on my bed as well den we were lyk hugged each other to slp... ok sounds v wrong.. haha.. but hiyah.... cold la!!!

Day4

woke up half an hour late again!! mass, breakfast, session3, lunch, pack up, session4, feedback.. HOME! supposedly la.. haha... wah after mass i went to the back of the conference hall to sit w seb weekie n ger... the 3 of them bully me sia! and dear didnt help me... hmph... keep poking n tickling me... seb la! started it first...!! during breakfast time also poke... den while eating i chiong andrea's warm fuzzie... den session3 by bro sam... quite interesting la... i was super tired.. coz i slpt v lil.. but still i didnt slp at all.. and was quite surprised i wrote down notes til my whole pg was full!!! ohh was sitting w kevin ger and seb... den ya poke poke poke agn.... den was lyk quite cold coz directly at whr the aircon was blowing... so seb lend me his windbreaker agn.. that session we got lyk alil high lo.... seb kev n i jus kept talking nonsense.... den lunch.... eh tt was d only meal whr i didnt finish my food... left alil rice.. coz i was lyk forcing d food down lo.. den wrote weekie's warm fuzzie... packing up was wth la..... ya... aftr packing up i went to the common area, sat at the corner and emo.. no la.. slp la... den so happen seb was sitting at the seat beside me... ya poke agn... lol...... den dear ask me go to the hall w her.... i walk till the corridor dere den heard amanda saying report at 2:20pm so i sian diao i walked back to the corner n slpt fer 10min... session4 was interesting... the way we had to think etc.... yea... after the session, we had to pair up w our OH, exchange envelopes den walk down the line... funny la the way some of them did it... ohh.. EMO MICKEY N MINNIE MOUSE? wad a nice pair.. LOL! okok.. weekie dun kill me.. haha.. did our usual camp dance, All my Life, den after that we broke camp.. was in the common room waiting for them to walk out den seb came over n say "must do one last time if not dunno whn i have the chance agn..." coz tmr he'll be starting his service to the nation... den he poke agn.. -.-" ohh... the whole grp of us went opp eat dinner... mua you ji... nice la!! haha...

hmm... ive calculated... [coz im super bo liao....] that throughout this whole entire camp, i had abt 10hours of slp only... haha! no wonder im so hyper...

ok end of story... shall update on the sessions in depth tmr.. plus add some personal msges for afew ppl... gosh i feel so guilty.. some ppl whom i didnt write warm fuzzies for wrote for me... T_T.. ahh!!!! last yr also!!! but last yr i rmbr i wrote fer kenneth and sebkoh after the camp.... haiz.... mb i shall do the same agn...

2008-06-05T19:05:00.006+08:00

vivien!!! why did u have to ask me to do that!? why did you have to remind me of THAT DAY?! u noe i this kind of person whn reminded abt these kinda days i'll cry de lo..... make me emo nia..... hmph... okok nt ur fault... yea thanks anws... (: POP! i miss those times! haiz.... oh wells....

sigh.. IM SO SCREWED! 19 days to mye!! and stil counting.. time is running...!!! FAST!!! *tick tock tick tock tick tock...* heard that?!?! the clock's ticking away... its not gonna stop!!! ahh!! how?!?! plus next week i whole week at camp! die die die... all my H2s die le!!! T_T

sometimes i rly wonder if there's rly smth that the ppl arnd me know and i dont... haiz... oh wells... but rly leh i seem to be missing out on smth.. anyone care to share? =P haiz... mb im juz over paranoid...

haiz dunno wad's w my mum.. fer nth angry... lyk since the time she reached home! dunno fer wad.. well i wldnt noe also coz the time she reached home i was stil bathing... lyk she scold make no sense de.... anyhow shout at everyone who's home...... last night d rabbit shit on d bed she also got super angry... lyk eh jus clean la.... but worse thing was it pee-ed in bed as well.... lyk MY BED!! wth! haiz... bad mood only scold everyone fer nth! irritating! den the past few days keep saying i dun care abt her... lyk her diabetes getting worse n she knows it.... den i dun let her eat anything tt is too sweet she will jus say i dun care abt her wan her to starve.. lyk.. PLS LA! if i didnt care abt her i wld let her eat all those junk alr la! wth lo.... den become my fault... sighs... dunno's what's wrong w her la..... if i didnt care abt her i wldnt even talk to her n acc her at home! ... den also she's lyk super sensitive... ppl say smth only she must over react n make a mountain out of a molehill..... sighs! WHAT THE HELL IS MY FAMILY BECOMING?! my sis lyk bochap my dad lyk whtever he do wil kena scolded. i bother until i dun wan bother liao ar! its pissing me off!

sigh.. should i go for class bbq this sunday? still cant make up my mind sia.. i feel lyk going but yet dun wanna go... dun ask me why. yea...

arrgh!! i wanna cut my hair! LOL... but im lazy.. plus dunno how much to cut.. lol! sian sian sian... haiz..

rofl! i jus realised every para in this blog post begins or ends with a sigh... ok maybe not.. but lyk every para has at least a sigh.. gosh imagine how many fairies ive killed jus with this blogpost... haiz.....

2008-06-03T11:37:00.001+08:00

2 questions to ponder on.....

have you found joy in your life?
has your life brought joy to others?

2008-05-31T19:24:00.005+08:00

thanks ar weekie... lol! ok so here goes........

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B) Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
eh.. hmm.. sad? angry? depressed? EMO! eh.. dunno? ok la.. seriously.... perhaps i'll be angry at first... den i'll emo aftr tt... coz im not one who lets go of feelings easily... but angry also cnt angry so long wad... so after the anger dies off den emo lo.... ok nvm im not making sense!

If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
sounds nice.. dream come true huh... eh.. a life without any sadness or worries with my loved ones in a nice big house with a garden... perhaps some fairytale come true...?

What will your dream wedding to be like?
to be practical.. it wld start off in church, since im catholic. den will be going to parents house to serve tea to the elders, since im chinese. followed by wedding dinner.
my dream wedding ar... hmm... i wan it by the beach!! or seaside.. ok same meaning.. or maybe in a big garden.. with beautiful flowers and nice deco... and a nice tea reception after that.

Are you confused of what lies ahead of you?
i dunno what exactly lies ahead of me... so perhaps i might b la... but i think i'll b more confused of what has happened than what's going to happen...

What's your ideal lover like?
- must be same age [birthday dont matter] or older [max 5yrs]
- taller than me
- looks dont rly matter
- someone who loves me for who i am and not what i am
- caring
- independent
- dont spoil me too much
actually just go by feeling. follow my heart lo...

do you have a person that you wish you will be with now?
eh.. yeps..

which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both... i think love is a 2-way thing... to love unconditionally is quite tough, tho not impossible. so, to love someone and not being loved in return is lyk quite sad so dun = blessed. to be loved by someone but you dont rly love that person back or not tt much also dun = blessed coz lyk will hv guilty conscience, end up its lyk ure forced to love. so... ya it must work both ways la...

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
if possible, all my life? but that wldnt be worth it will it? dunno leh. cnt possibly wait forever. so see how long i cn hold on?

if the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
wait... and see how... perhaps let go after awhile... but since im not one who lets go easily so may take quite awhile

is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
eh not rly? more of make me lost n confused than unhappy.

is being tagged fun?
no comments

how do you see yourself in ten years time?
eh.. hmm... perhaps w a stable job n stable income, and mb, or mb not, a small fam? haha. dun wanna think so far

who are currently most important people to you?
God, friends, family, friends, friends, friends, did i mention friends alr? yea... basically every1 arnd me

what kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
a v gd friend to hv. one who is enthu abt everything possible. a gd listening ear. gd advice giver. nice companion. a crazy girl. =P

would you rather to be single and rich or married but poor?
married but poor. single so lonely den single n rich no pt. be rich dun = happiness. so might as well b married den gt company. poor nvm la. at least stil gt someone to pei2 ni3 guo4 ku3 ri4.

what's the first thing you do every morning?
off hp alarm!

would you give all in a relationship?
what's not to give? commitment. so yeps, i wld give all in a r/ship. but def not to till ive neglected everyone else la... must strike a balance.

if you fall in love with two person simultaneously, who would you pick?
is that even possible? like stil possible leh. love ar...? hmm... i wld pick the one whom im more comfortable w, and also see who i like more amongst the 2.. eh.... i'll just follow my heart agn...

what type of friends do you like?
not much of a preference. jus dont be arrogant. everyone is special in his/her own way. just dun betray my trust, and dun be arrogant ok alr. and dun give me insecurities!

if given the chance to turn back time, will you?
i wldnt mind!!! if only its possible. but since it isnt, den i'll just live life the way it comes. learn to pick myself up after a fall. and not repeat any unhappy past

what is the last thing you would do before you die?
let my loved ones know how much i love them. show my gratitude to them, let them know that i really appreciate their presence in my life, and that they have rly made a diff and hv allowed me to become who i am.

8 ppl. to be tagged:
muahahahhaha!! my fav part!! the 8 lucky ppl are................... *drumroll*
- Nicole
- Vivien
- Esther
- Raudah
- Andrea
- Timothy
- Jessie
- Kevin

2008-05-31T18:57:00.003+08:00

one week of june hols down, and ive barely studied! sighs... the past week has been rather...... eh..... hmm... dunno how to say... i only know i wasted d week away...

mon.. went to sch on mon fer chem n math lesson.. was late la! had lunch in sch den go home... slack
tues.. slept only at 4am woke up at 7am.. home the whole day.. guitar string snapped.. went to get new one at night w mummy.. slack
wed.. guitar prac.. den went to study at TPCL.. dinner home slack
thurs.. woke up at 4am to study.. lessons at 9am.. guitar prac.. home.. camp christine.. home..
fri.. reached home frm camp christine at 1230am.. guitar prac.. was late as well. lunch.. home.. slack..
sat.. woke up at 7am to go jogging w viv who DIDNT wake up! so ended up cancelled. went to Church of St. Theresa coz today is my ahma's 21st death anniversary.. went to Nativity for meeting at 11plus.. came home at 1plus fer lunch.. slpt til 6pm.. now blogging = slack..

see ive basically wasted d whole entire week away!!! sighs! dunno wad's wrong w me.. results so bad alr stil dun wan study.. and tmr lyk out the whole day...

schedule for tmr:
- 730am mass
- breakfast
- choir prac
- lunch [mayb?]
- ARII dry run
- ticket sales at 530pm

see! not home d whole day! n by d tym i reach home sure half dead le.. dun need think of studying as well de lo....! sighs...... hope next week will make up fer this week? since im home on mon, tues, half of wed, thurs, sat? yea... friday gg out to study w jes n probably nic... dunno hw productive it'll b tho.. mb productive fer them nt me coz i'll be tutoring them. sighs... hope i learn smth frm my own teachings? if its even possible..

ahh! hiyah i dun wanna think of how much time ive wasted etc liao la! end up wasting more time thinking abt it nia... ok i shall end my post here i guess... till then... if im not lazy to blog... coz i actually hv nth much to blog abt...

2008-05-31T01:16:00.002+08:00

haiz... why everything so screwed alr whn we left? lyk tt sure close down one la... haiz... cant say much here... in case any of them reads... but seriously la.. discipline is lyk crap la! no one listens alr... and.... leaders are so soft spoken and way too nice to them alr... no wonder all being stepped on... what is this la?! haiz... so disappointing... getting more and more disorganised as well... and their drill sucks alr!! getting worse each year... makes me feel lyk such a failure.. nvr teach my members properly... sighs... what's happening to them la!!!

2008-05-25T18:57:00.004+08:00

stupid blogger! go auto delete one full para from my post to ger... haiz.. oh wells.... i lazy add that para back... also partly because i forgot what the contents of that para was... i only know that blogger auto deleted that para.... oh wells... ok nvm... nt my point of wanting to blog anws...

gp and econs midyears = total screw up... for gp paper2 i left like the whole AQ blank..... summary i crap through... paper1..... i think i wrote out of point...... econs..... GG la!!!! case study 2 i threw away almost 14marks.... essay... the 13marks one... i only wrote the skeleton of the essay i didnt explain at all... which means its saying goodbye to almost 27 marks... damn it la....!! so screwed... ok also not my pt of wanting to blog...

the hols are finally here! gosh means term2 jus ended.... sighs.... and soon it'll be term3 and i'll jus die... pw pw pw pw pw! i'll jus go crazy!!! my first week of hols is like totally booked out.... except tuesday..... even saturday and sunday also booked out la!!! idiot la.... but at least the rest of the hols free lo... or rather not very free... coz need to study for midyears..... but still........ hahah.... anyone wanna go out? be it for relaxation's sake or for studying............. coz i dun think i'll be able to study at home anws... yeps.... haha......... ok.. agn this is also not my reason for blogging.....

so........ what the hell is my reason for writing this la!!!! haiz..... i also dunno............

sighs... sometimes i just wish i do not exist at all.... for the past few days at home... since last wednesday actually.... ive been feeling this way........ not that im being treated as invisible or what la.... but seriously... i would rather BE INVISIBLE than to be someone for others to vent their anger on...... dunno wad's wrong w my mum la!!! since wed, she has been scolding, shouting, screaming and beating me for NO REASON AT ALL! i wanna study econs and gp also cannot study in peace!!! and if i do badly it'll still be my fault not hers......... coz she'll jus say that im being lazy and that i nvr study......... when she's the one who make me cannot conc on my studies at home! and then she'll jus withdraw me from jc aftr midyears, make me waste one full year and then enrol me for poly next year..... f**k la! then i come home later than usual she also scold... and its not say very late la... at least earlier than the time my sis used to come home... plus i told her beforehand!!! then on saturday, after dental i came back to slp coz i woke up relatively early [at least its early for satudays...] she also scold...... tired cannot slp leh......... so i play guitar ok she didnt bother much..... after that she quarrelled with my dad and ended up scolding me for using the com! wow i sooooooooo see the link..... and ask me to pack my things w/o even giving me a box to pack it in..... lyk wth...?? nvm....... today........ i forced myself to wake up at 7.. was suppose to get up at 6:30 tho.... so literally speaking.. i overslept.... rushed to church w/o eating or drinking..... has mass choir prac breakfast den was talking to my dear and walked back with her to church.... meet up w ger to study..... tho i think she studied more than i did....... then agn she was studying econs i tried studying chem but end up helping her with her econs coz its jus so cool.... den agn lyk all look so foreign to me.... coz its nt in H1 syllabus...... but stil cld help alil... den asked a few H2 ppl fer help... but haha..... lyk abit pointless coz everyone hv diff POV den hv diff ans....... bought lunch back... chat til almost 2:30 den walked w her to audi1.... lectors ppl were stil in dere so we went to NCC... and so nice... we were stranded dere... coz it started to pour... all of a sudden! i had an umbrella tho... but since the dist was so short we jus walked in the rain la.... and the rain jus got heavier!!! but heck... tho im alr nt feeling that well w my sneezing non-stop since this mrng..... i jus walked in the rain home... so i reached home and obviously slp... coz no1. i wasnt feeling well.... no2. the fact i forced myself out of bed for mass = i was very very tired... and i barely slpt for 1 and a half hrs she scold me for slping n beat me somemore! wtf! jus coz b4 tt she was agn quarrelling w my dad...... lyk i set my alarm at 5pm la... so that i cn slp for 2hrs...... den she go ruin everything...... was so pissed off........!! rly la..... dunno is it just me or her lo.... she not happy only scold me... rly makes me feel that i exist for her to vent her anger on......... i have problems on my own to settle, which alr make my mood quite bad the past few days and she jus have to add on to it and make my mood worse........ that's why aftr gp on thurs i didnt wanna go home........... either way, whether i stayed in hgm to study or not, i would jus not go home till v late.... i must say.......... jus roaming hgm itself did lighten my mood... i dunno why.... but jus for that 1hr plus that i roamed hgm b4 gg to study i felt alot better........ like i saw my jnrs, my cousin, my nephew, my choir fren, my church frens, my primary sch jnr [who is also my church fren n jnr in sec sch....]... yea.... tho lyk all of them didnt see me la... except my choir fren who called me immediately whn i walked into the toilet... haha.. of all place to meet each other..... and also my cousin and nephew.. but tt is i called them de..... heh... dunno why la.. but seeing them made me feel happier... and walking around, tho alone, made me better as well... ok im jus plain weird!!!

sighs... i think im thinking too much... way too much... i jus dunno why but those thots jus keep flooding my head..... that one day i think i'll jus rly go crazy.... this mrng's homily by fr paul yeo rly hit me v hard.... shall not type the details here la.... but aftr hearing his homily i rly think that im gonna snap liao la..... anyone wanna go w me for the Sacred Scriptures? if not i'll really go crazy... cant afford to distant myself from God as well whn ive alr distant myself from almost everyone else..... last night someone told me i looked very stress out... also, that my "flame" wasnt buring anymore.... and that i seem to be more of an empty shell... if u noe what i mean.... sighs..... i so totally agree la!!!

how do you stop doing smth that has become so part of your life? is it possible? ive tried to block things out by getting myself busy with other things like playing guitar [tho v pointless], studying non-stop [nt v productive studying tho], playing cards [by myself is v retarded], play online games [tho im v bored of them]... what else? i seriously cnt seem to block things out this time........ not that i really want to but just that i somehow feel its the best solution now... i dunno why... i jus dun wanna think anymore..... lonliness... emptiness.... starts flooding in.. what can i do?

i cant force things to happen against their will.... tho i can make things happen.... oh wells..... if there's a will there's a way......... i rly wan things to go smoothly.. but judging by the way it seems.. i doubt it will...... and def will most likely turn out the total opposite from what i wan it to be... oh wells.......... mb im jus rly thinking too much... but den agn.... mb my intuition is right this time............................. sighs... i hope its wrong... pls pls pls prove me wrong k?

[dont wanna lose you at all]

2008-05-24T15:55:00.003+08:00

hey jessie... so sorry until now den upload d pics.... heh..... tsk send me those that u took w ur phone de as well k? (:

2008-05-18T19:28:00.010+08:00

a post specially dedicated to GERMAINE mei...

Ger's logic:
1. ger makes isa hyper
2. isa is lame and she needs a wheelchair
3. isa has stm [eg. she forgot that she just chatted w jes in the afternoon]
4. flap your arms, lift your body and fly
5. ger must fly to isa's hse to drink ribena, but she disagrees coz she says isa must fly to her hse to give her the ribena
6. only when tagging ger's blog and blogging bout ger then isa makes sense
7. ger is fast and efficient [she says so though i think otherwise. LOL! jk.]

by listening to ger's voice isa gets hyper. lol. see! tt's how long i've not talked to you!!! whose fault? urs rite? LOL! jkjk... ok dun think this post will b as........... eh.... how to say ar...... eh..... hyper as tt voice conver we had? wait... hpyer blog post...? abit weird........... lol ok nvm..... yea...... you so lame la!!!! not only me... do you need a wheelchair as well? eh but no, i wont push u arnd..... service charge! lol..... no motor ones as well.... oh no wait.... tt's suppose to be said to kevin rite? lol! hiyah nvm say to u as well... LOL....... coz ure jus as lame... whee!!! 3 lame ppl.......... haiz.. so sad.. everyone not going NYC... hmph!!! but nvm i'll still go... dun worry.. wont ps u dere de..... see im such a nice jie rite?! im sure you're agreeing w me.... LOL.... i shall go dere emo... haha... den u cn emo w me.... wahhaha... n mb make ur scandal emo as well....? den we cn form an emo club..... since got lame club liao.... heh... haha... yea... come up with more logics.... hmm i think if really help her come up with logics as well her logics will be more than ours plus together! LOL... but nvm!!! hahahha!! yea.... NYC will be a good time for us to catch up with each other i suppose... and let all our troubles fade jus for that 3days... (: eh seriously i think i hv stm....!!! i 4got what we talked abt... lol.... ohh den agn tt's perhaps coz i was too high jus nw den im super not high now liao..... sighs.... haha... eh u better not emo hor! yeps.... thanks for accompanying me and brightening my night.. tho it was jus for that short 1hr..... (: i dun think ive laughed that much since the time i got into cjc... seriously.... somehow just now when we were talking i felt like as tho we were back in the times whn we were still in sjc.... all the fun and laughter non stop in school..... yea like what you've said... i felt the same way as well... i felt myself agn.. and the "mask" just disappeared! was able to talk to you so freely and forget abt the rest of the world... all my troubles... my worries... my fears etc... just for that 1hr, you took them all away... i felt lyk as tho i was in paradise... whr i had nth to worry abt.. how i wish we didnt have to end that call... ok before this post become an emo post i shall change topic!!! lol... ohh you sad not? i add you to the conver then he left... lol..... aww... our planned failed.... but nvm at least still managed to stay till midnight... heh..... ohh! im suppose to post my own logic as well rite?!?!?! lol!!!!! yar la lyk u said... it'll jus be the exact opp of urs...... so ppl! FOR ISA'S LOGIC... JUS CHANGE ALL THE "GER" IN GER'S LOGIC TO "ISA" AND ALL THE "ISA" TO "GER"! lol! see im that lazy... yea.... anws.. rly thanks for your company... rly hope to see you real soon.... (:

btw, you weren't the only one who looked lyk a retard last night smiling to the com... HAHAH! i was smiling to the com lyk siao while talking to you as well... hiyah seriously next time should add in webcam then we can see how retarded we look yea? LOL! wah jus thinking abt it im now smiling to the com lyk some retard agn!! lol..... yea... you really made me day and i want you to know that... no matter what happens, you'll always be my beloved mei and i will always love you no matter how distant we may become throughout the course of my jc life and your poly life.... but im very sure we will not let that happen right? (:

ok lyk wad i did to jes n viv... this part will be a lil emo......

to Germaine, you better read this! see... this whole post really dedicated to you and only you! don't you just feel so honoured? heh...

thanks for last night... it really made my day.... tho after you went offline i was back to.................... yar u noe.. doing something that i shouldnt.. if you get what i mean... HAHA...... yea.. come to think of it... when you whined so much last night... i was wondering when was the last time you actually did whine so much to me... haha... see i miss your whinings... it has been lyk part of my life... listening to you whine for 3whole years... really miss those times when i actually saw you for lyk 6days per week..... those were the days!!! haha.... miss studying with you as well.... going to your house... staring out of the window down at the bus int... chionging Elementz... actually studying.... helping each other with our work... going crazy together..... those times when we went jogging at punggol park.... and yar... go church canteen to slack after that... and occasionally waiting til evening mass ends den we'll argue who should go first for confession.... which priest to find... haha... studying in church with weekie... tho sometimes not very productive... but yar... at least the company alone was sufficient... i regret not fully cherishing the time ive spent with you over the past 3 years... if only i could turn back time......... you've been a wonderful mei to me and i appreciate that... though there may be times of trails... we still managed to pull through.. forgive each other.. put all our past behind us... and move on together.... i definitely agree that all these trails have helped strengthened our friendship... now i fully understand why many tell me that it is in secondary school where you make long lasting friendships.... ok you can say that i'm slow... seriously, it took me 3blogposts to fully understand that...... the one to jeslyn, to vivien.. and this.... yea... ok im so sry this post has became so emo alr.....

on a lighter note.... eh.. when i'm free ar... come to think of it i'm not very sure myself.... i'm free for a few days in the first week of hols i think.... so must see your schedule coz I'LL BE ON HOLIDAY!!! eh not as in overseas but sch hols ya? LOL... ok i think that statement was redundant..... i'll check my schedule and get back to you? you also tell me when you free la... yea.. den we'll go back to SJC together to collect our SGC... LOL... den hope we can go find some teachers talk crap as well.... lol....... that is if they are free la..... it has been such a long while since ive been to that area....... sighs... but yea... hehe... yep yep... we can form the lame club, emo club and logical club together! hahah! must recruit more members.... coz so far all 3 only have 3 ppl each... woots!!! eh i whr got copy meow? sure is not you copy meow ar? LOL.... heh..... ok la i think i really better stop here before this post gets real emo...

GERMAINE! YOU GOT ME HIGH AS WELL!!! and how i wish it'll last forever....!!! ok i think i really have to come back and face reality as well.......... once again.... THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LOADS!!!

2008-05-18T19:28:00.003+08:00

to Jeslyn, if you ever come to my blog....

thanks for listening to all my rants and tolerating my nonsense even though you are very busy with your work and trying your best to cope well with your life. it really does make me feel better. you may not know la but yar you're like helping me to lighten my load in a way... on a serious note, i really do not wish to see your friendship with nicole to dissolve just like that ok? really dont let him ruin the 5yrs of friendship you share with her. just tell him off if you have to. but at the same time also try to understand the situation nicole is in and understand her actions and what she's feeling. yeps. ok im sure you're sensitive to her feelings la... just reminding you in case it comes to a point where you cannot take it and just snap which i also dont want to see! yeps. really. hang in there ok? we'll all pull through together like we did for the past 3yrs. i'm really glad to have you as one of my closest friends. thanks for always being there for me when i need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. for always accompanying me when i feel all alone. i dont even think one word "thanks" is enough to make up for all that you've did for me. but know that i really appreciate your actions k? sighs my life in jc is a total screw up la. if all these persist, i really wonder how im going to survive the next one and a half years in cj la... everything will be so strained. oh wells like you said i shouldnt drag the situation any longer. i'll try find a time la. in any case, jiayou in sr! and if you ever need a listening ear, you can always look for me. be it on msn, sms or call. okok? ((:

to Vivien, i know you'll definitely read my blog! heh (:

thanks for the many times that you've accompanied me when i was feeling very lonely. and for listening to all my complains about my screwed up life in cjc during bus rides and at my house. heh. oh yar! all the things that i've told you, you better not tell anyone else hor!!! or i'll jus kill you! verbally not literally. ok in a way literally. LOL! yeps. im serious hor! yea. but really thanks for your presence in my life. for brightening up my day each time you are with me. oh always rmbr that if you ever need a listening ear, you can always find me to talk to k? i'll be delighted to share your burden. (:

2008-05-18T11:45:00.014+08:00

To Where You Are
Josh Groban

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration

Can it be
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above.

Chorus:
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
and that love will live on
And never leave

Chorus:
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

oh gosh the 7th song lyrics this week! haha! i rly miss singing this song w PMJC... WHATEVER HAPPENED TO IT?!?!! gosh........... lol.

2008-05-18T11:45:00.011+08:00

You Raise Me Up
Josh Groban

When I am down and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

There is no life no life without it's hunger
Each restless heart beat so imperfectly
But when you come and I am filled with wonder
Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be.

2008-05-18T11:45:00.010+08:00

Walk in Love
CHIJ SNG (pri) CHoir, Rebecca Fung, Krislyn Ng, Priscilla Lim, Krystal Jade Butler, Joelle Tan, Ashna Goh, Michelle Kris Chew, Ling Chai Yue, Thai JiinShuian & Chua Yong Zhen

Trust your heart
Hear the voice that whispers quietly through it all
Trust your heart
To reveal the life you're called to live
Though the path may not always lead you
To the place you planned
Journey forth, embrace the world with open hands

Walk in love
With our two feet firmly planted on the ground
Walk in love
Knowing well we have a part to play
Though the world may not always be
The way that it should be
We believe we can build our dream of peace
If we walk in love, if we walk in love
We will walk in love

2008-05-18T11:45:00.005+08:00

One Family
CHIJ Katong Convent (Sec) Choir, Soo You-Mei & Izyan Mellyna

Does it really matter what we call ourselves
As long as He's the one who first called us?
Why spend all our time fighting among ourselves
When He called us to spread His love?
Remember His message to us:

We are one family, in the Lord
That's how it's meant to be, in the Lord
Working hand in hand
To make Him known throughout the world
So let's just stop and face each other
It's like looking in a mirror
Recognize our similarities
Yes, it's time to come together
We can make things even better
Try to be what He meant us to be
One family

Does it really matter how we pray or sing
As long as it's His name on our lips?
Just enjoy the way He made us different but the same
'Cos He made us to be like Him
Don't forget what He made us to be

We are one family, in the Lord
That's how it's meant to be, in the Lord
Working hand in hand
To make Him known throughout the world
So let's just stop and face each other
It's like looking in a mirror
Recognize our similarities
Yes, it's time to come together
We can make things even better
Try to be what He meant us to be
One family

2008-05-18T11:45:00.002+08:00

Caritas, Share the Love
CHIJ Sec (Toa Payoh) Choir, Valerie Oliveiro & Lim Hui Min

Eyes speaking of an endless grief
Lips open in a wordless cry
Let's share the love we take for granted
Try to keep their last hopes alive

Hands reaching for their loved ones lost
Hearts holding to a flickering dream
Let's share the life we waste away
Show them that the world truly cares

Caritas, share the love
That they are missing inside
Caritas, take the step
To reach out to the other side
There's so much we can give if we dare
To the lost and forgotten out there
Caritas, share the love, share the love

Smiles breaking through those hardened faces
A gift to us that makes us whole
Let's share the peace our maker gave us
Making our souls feel alive

Caritas, share the love
That they are missing inside
Caritas, take the step
To reach out to the other side
There's so much we can give if we dare
To the lost and forgotten out there
Caritas, share the love, share the love

2008-05-15T23:49:00.002+08:00

i really need to start mugging lyk crazy liao sia!!! out of 3H2s and 1H1 plus GP n chinese.... i got 1S for 1H2 1U for another H2 1U for my H1 GP sure fail as well but i hope not chinese... scraped a pass lyk D i think. so left 1 more H2 rite? tt's the only subj im rather [forcefully] satisfied with... B... see! such lousy results only at the beginning of the year! imagine midyears den promos sure die la... how?! someone tutor me!!!!!!!!

2008-05-13T20:32:00.000+08:00

Gone So Young
Amber Pacific

I never dreamt it'd be this way
I lost any chance for me to say
To say that I miss you, say that I love you
Will someone please tell me I'm okay

I wasn't prepared for what's to come
A life made of memories gone so young
And now I'm regretting all I've done
But in your heart you know that I'm with you all along

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight

I never thought that this could go
And take me away from all I know
And leave me to think I'm on my own
But your love will take me, you were the one...

...Who sat through nights
You held me tight
And made sure I'm okay
And I thank you for the love you gave to me

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
I'm in your heart tonight...

Tonight...

Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
Wherever you go, I will be waiting
Whenever you call, I will be there
Whatever it takes, I'll make your darkest days so bright
And if I should fall, I know you're waiting
And if I should call, I know you're there
If ever you cry just know
I'm in your heart tonight...
I'm in your heart tonight.

2008-05-11T21:19:00.005+08:00

Have You Ever
S Club 7

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away
Though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me

Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see?
That's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin' down the road you should be taking
I should know
'Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong
We should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I finally realize, it was forever that I'd found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me

Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see?
That's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin' down the road you should be taking
I should know (I should know)
'Cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say
That you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away
Can't you see?
Even though the moment's gone
I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me

Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see? (oooh)
That's the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin' down the road you should be taking
I should know (I should know)
'Cause I loved and lost the day I let

Yes, I loved and lost the day I let

Yes, I loved and lost the day I let you go

2008-05-11T21:19:00.004+08:00

is it still possible for me to pretend that nothing has happened after all these while...? i seriously dont know what to do any longer... on the verge of breaking down... things are getting way out of hand. time and time again i tell myself not to let it affect me and to just ignore every thought that may come my way and just simply concentrate on studying. but to this point of time. its impossible. totally impossible. i cant run away anymore when reality is hitting real hard. now that things are out of hand, i guess i only have myself to blame for not taking things in proper control in the first place. sighs. i reap what i sow. and... what's not meant to be mine will never ever be mine no matter how hard i try to gain it. so......... i shall just leave everything into God's hands le. i really cant take it anymore!!!

do you know that it really hurts me so to see you in this way? nvm i dont think you do. and i doubt u'll ever know.

2008-05-11T21:19:00.002+08:00

-Spirit, let us now be, and forever, transformed for all humanity-

2008-05-03T22:26:00.003+08:00

ytd was d sch's sports carnival.... left the hse lyk freaking early!! the 153 bus came late.. as in it rly came late lo!!! d 6:20am bus didnt reach... so i waited fer tt damn bus frm 6:10 to 6:30....!!!! technically speaking.. i was late.. coz suppose to report at 7:25 i reached at abt 7:30.. but wasnt marked as late so im lucky..... anws the race event of the carnival was...... eh... ok no comments..... coz compared to sjc's it was lyk shit... aftr tt was d games event and eco challenge... haha.. gosh eco challenge was CRAZY!! but fun... running arnd botanic garden jus finding scientific names of plants.. solving puzzles...... quite cool la.... smth more cool..... my class frm 5th place drop to 15th place!!! hahaha...!! oh well.. lyk wad mr isaac lim said.... its not abt competing.. its abt completing... anws the prize presentation was held at ccab hall... haha lyk thruout the whole prize presentation i was watching the volleyball match.. tjc vs tpjc... aftr the whole event, went to far east w half d class fer lunch... aftr lunch i quickly zao w jessie roy and andrew.... took bus instead of mrt.. to acc jessie and also the bus-stop is nearer than the mrt station.... didnt wanna walk tt far as my headache was getting worse... the journey in tt 132 bus was damn funny... jessie nearly missed the sch's bus-stop!! den aftr she alighted.. i realised d other 3 of us were supposed to alight w her!!! so we took lyk 1 more stop down n changed to 153... den at bishan.. andrew nearly forgot to alight as well!!! cn stil stare at the bus-stop la.... aftr tt i fell aslp all the way to hougang int le.... lucky i woke up whn the bus was jus outside the int.... dunno y.. but everytym whn i slp in the bus on the way home... i'll auto wake up whn the bus is jus outside d int.... reached home n contd slpin... woke up w super high fever n very bad headache... plus i lost my voice as well.... all jus within tt 2hrs plus of slp!!! went to see the doc... got super pissed off at the clinic coz i waited fer almost 2hrs!!! lyk wtf! not feeling well plus waiting plus hungry..... not a v gd mood combi.... ohh plus loads of lil boys running up and down screaming shouting talking at the top of their voices which made my headache worse!!! why cant they b girls... den it wld hv been quieter!!! anws took a taxi home frm the clinic... coz i rly didnt hv the energy to walk le..... $4 la!!! ate lyk 1/4 of my dinner den went to shower n slp.... ohh! im exempted from pe!!! how good is tt? no physical conditioning for me!! whee!!

this mrng woke up stil hving high fever... so was stuck at home the whole day...... not only fever ar!!! lyk aftr breakfast i had diahorrea as well...... for the whole day la.... dunno wtf is wrong w me liao la!!!!!! anws my fever and headache were gone in the aftrnn.... but haiz... now its back agn la....... so stupid... nvm i'll jus try to pretend tt im alright tmr den go 7:30 mass and do proj.... aftr tt i shall declare myself sick agn....... i cn officially say tt ive wasted almost 3days!! thurs spent the whole day at the airport doing GPP til 9plus... reached home at 11:15pm...... ytd coz of the fever i didnt hv the energy to do anything.... tdae i only completed the chemical energetics homework.... wanted to start on math but no energy... came online wan do GP research but also no energy le...... so im gonna slp eh... SOON! agn...

2008-04-28T23:41:00.002+08:00

"all you got to do is to look on the brighter side of life and everything will be fine" -> that's what i hear everyday on the bus! be it on my way to sch or going home....
oh yea rite... how true can that statement be la? for years i've tried looking on the brighter side of life... but everything just ISNT fine.... not at all... very tiring to remain optimistic all the time leh...! some ppl keep telling me i look v cheerful.. ya rite... like real.........!!!! sighs...... when can i ever take off this mask?!?!

2008-04-26T21:11:00.005+08:00

sighs... life is just so unfair... why? why? why? why take away the life of an innocent one? leave one injured without a company and all 3 drivers escaped with no injuries at all? haiz... he's like still so young! and his poor friend still does not know about his death... but WHY?! why take him away from his parents?! and seriously.. i wonder what's becoming of catholics.... just because he's not baptised they dont accept him and allow his parents to place his urn in their collobarium.....!! what is this la!!!! he's still a CHILD OF GOD!!! all except sfx... at least Fr Ho still has a heart... eh that is if he's still the parish priest... sighs.... WHY MUST LIFE BE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNFAIR?!! why is it the innocent ones that die and the evil ones that get away with things all the time?! can someone ans me? i wonder if humans still have a heart for others as well...

hmm.... what is life after death like? ever thought about it? sounds so scary leh.. like you dont know what's gonna be before you... what you'll be going through till youve experienced it whn you die......... you dont even know where you'll end up!!! and the people whom you left on earth... they'll all be like................ yar... sad and all... no wait... they should be happy coz you're going to God's house where there's no more sufferings no more tears no more sadness.... eh but if you sin alot and dont repent.. yes they should feel sad la.. technically speaking...
ever wondered when your time on earth will be up? even if you did you wouldnt know when as well rite.....? so TREASURE YOUR LIFE!!! you wouldnt know when it'll be taken away from you!!! treasure every moment you have with your loved ones........ you wouldnt know when they will leave you... live life to the fullest.. or you'll end up living in regrets.....

i think this is the.... 5th time im posting this kinda post le.... first was when Fr Peter Lu died... then Gabriel.. followed by Cecilia, Fr Matthias Tung.. and now Russell....... SEE!! life is so unpredictable!!!!

Russell, rest in peace.....
-may the choir of angels, come to greet you; may they speed you to Paradise. may the Lord enfold you, in His mercy; may you have eternal life-

2008-04-25T23:31:00.002+08:00

the past few days were CRAP!!! slping and waking up at at all sorts of weird timings!! ok not weird la.. but compared to my normal time of abt 12 or 1 to between 5:06 and 5:30.... its WEIRD! suddenly slp at 10 wake up at 3 lo............... den in sch super damn slpy!!

ytd lyk.... i slpt thruout the whole break time... and i slpt through half of phy lec... only woke up during pe [duh! pe how to slp?!]... ytd's pe was the best la!!!! outdoor... lyk climb over the gate run to main entrance den walk the drain [underground] did push ups in the drain [as in not inside inside but yar somewhat stil inside la....] climb up muddy slope [coz it was raining b4 pe den the mud soft soft de] wah super fun la!!! at least better than GST la.. heh..

tdae... haiz... gp test... i wasted alot of time!!! i actually had 40min to do my AQ but i slpt fer 15min unknowingly aftr writing abt 2para... woke up wanted to do 3rd para... but cld barely kp my eyes open den fell aslp while writing half way.... til the tchr said 1more min i got a shock la!!!! den no time le....... sighs!!! skipped break agn... but ate aftr sch b4 guitar la..... wth tdae sucks la...... did pg4 of entertainer.. and lyk this is the first time i didnt manage to learn finish la.....!! so pg 4 was total screw up fer me......... sighs..........

phy test on monday im sooooooooooooooooooooooooo prepared to fail! chem test next week also prepared to fail le....... die le lo... GG!!!!!

just some random thoughts...... i think i blogged abt this b4......

wad will happen if, one day i left this world without a sound? if i "disappeared" frm the face of the earth....... will anyone care? dun think so rite? sighs....
its lyk.... a replay of the bad times tt i had in secondary sch lo........... i just wish i was, or rather AM, invisible la.... might as well b lo... coz its nt v nice whn ure lyk literally dere but ppl jus ignore ur presence.... its lyk soooooooooooooo cold lo.. the atmosphere around...... no wonder kp raining the past few days... [ok no link]... but seriously la.... wad's the point of being there but people treat you like as if ure not there? might as well jus go away rite? the sense of insecurity is jus building up in me once agn la.... ive tried my best... but since things turned out the way it is now... its rather pointless for me to carry on.... i cant force things to happen.. and its not nice being forced anws.. so might as well stick to the status quo.. sighs... i seriously dont know what to do le la.... im lyk at the losing end of this "battle"............... im exhausted.. i NEED a break....!! but i cant have one... i need to carry on........ till the day that i really disappear.... i will NOT give up.....
seriously.. friends... define them la....... i no longer know its meaning anymore.... its lyk... whn they are in need you help and guide them along.... you stand by them through it all..... but when you need them? what happens? they all DISAPPEAR!!! these are called friends? i dont think so....

2008-04-22T20:28:00.004+08:00

math test was ______ econs test was more ______...! go fill in the blanks by urself anws... sighs....

vivien!! now you know where's the library le not?! lol!! u v funny leh... ohh btw those 2 books i'll try to borrow la... sounds very interesting to me.. see la u tempt me to read it!! LOL! but yea! thanks fer the recommendation! (:

sighs... i dunno wad's w me la... seriously... hv been lyk emo-ing almost non-stop the past few days.. for... I DONT KNOW WHAT REASONS.. seriously!!! sometimes i just wish i didnt hv a brain.. then i wont be able to think then i wont emo at all.....

friends... define them... why is it that, i feel la, everytime i need one, JUST ONE, none will be there? everyone's just so caught up with their own things that they cant be bothered abt the people around them anymore... so much of being friends... sighs... ok or maybe its just me i suppose?

for the past few days ive been like feeling super empty inside.. not very sure why either... just felt super insecure... i cant seem to be truthful to myself anymore.. let alone the people around me... i seem to be running away from some facts of life la......... oh no wait... not seem to be.. I AM.....!! dont ask what!!!

somehow u seem more and more like a stranger to me.... is it just me? or are you avoiding me? you dont even seem to care any more... why the sudden change? dont leave me hanging on a thread all alone.. just cut it....

2008-04-14T20:10:00.002+08:00

ISA!!! who the heck are you trying to deceive here la!!! sighs....

wad's the point? it wont solve problems....!!! BIG sigh... its starting to get irritating and distracting alr you know!!! isa ar isa... hiyo.... tsktsk... haiz...

i'd rather things remain this way... dont ever wan it to change.... but........ i have to move on!!! sighs.... i seriously dont know what's wrong with me le!!! im like going crazy!!! everything's changing... including myself... to a point where i dont recognise anything at all.... and i really mean ANYTHING!!! haiz........... so disappointed with myself...

2008-04-10T22:37:00.003+08:00

finally!! chem CA1 over!!!!!!!!!! and gosh... ms teo mark rly damn fast la...........!!! hmm i dunno if im jus plain lucky or my "efforts" paid off la....... mb im just lucky........ coz i dun rly rmbr studying tt much for it....... unless u consider the night before [which was last night] i tried doing the tys but fell aslp even b3fore i was half way thru it....... and i only read my lec notes n tuts ONCE on the bus this morning and during math lec... ok tt's one down... next will be math, econs and phy CA in week6... and chem CA2 in week8!!! the second chem CA sure die de la!!! and i MUST get at least 20 lo!! wth.......! ohh wells i'll try to do my best within this 4weeks........ haiz... physics.............................!!!!!!! i still dun understand term1 work at all!!! let alone term2...!!! econs.... getting lost soon........... math.............. still ok la.... but sigma...!!! ITS A NO-NO!!!! tt one i dun understand at all1!! someone help me please!!!! anyone!!! tutor me!!!! [but dont tutor me till i fail la....] (:

2008-04-08T21:13:00.003+08:00

some harsh "first time"s isa had as of 20080407:
- failed physics [dynamics] FA 44/100
- failed chinese compo [CA] 13/30
- failed chinese test 11.5/30

therefore, as of 20080408, isa has decided to:
- go home straight after school, if possible, instead of slacking around
- start doing her work and study as soon as she reaches home, instead of taking a nap
- study at least 2 to 3 hours per day, regardless of time and of how tired she is
- date her books instead of the "black box" that sits on the table called the computer
- minimise her usage of the "black box" as much as possible, and only use it when she feels that she is satisfied with what she has studied and deserves a break, or for project purposes [try!]
- go to bed before midnight, preferably between 10pm to bofore 12am [which can be 11:59:59pm]

can you help isa on her road to achieving her aims?

today isa is not behaving as her usual self for God-knows-what reasons. as you can see from this post.. its like so weird the way she types it. today isa managed to stay 99% awake in all her lectures and tutorials. she went home striaght after school for the first time, if you exclude orientation week. upon reaching home, instead of taking her usual naps, she started doing her work immediately and managed to study for 3hours straight. she feel's a little satisfied so she decided to come online, apparently way exceeding the time limit she has set for herself already. she will go back to studying for her chemistry CA after she is done with her blogging.

btw can someone PLEASE help isa find out the price of black cloth from kovan market? 4m by 6m

SJCAC! 20080329

2008-03-29T20:42:00.004+08:00

finally.. the long awaited day!!! we finally got together as a clique again!

met jes rau est viv n bec at cp for lunch.. den walked arnd cp fer awhile and went to sch [sjc].. after registration we slack arnd at the foyer... tying our ties and adjusting them... and freaking out coz its always not the right length.... den jes and i we went from first floor toilet to second floor toilet and all was locked!! den we ran down to the basement toilet... and took pics dere! LOL! back at the foyer.. we took more pics as well.... then we went up to hv a seat..den quite sian during the awards presentation.. like the oh-so-long speeches.... the waiting to receive the award was quite short... dunno y so fast also... but aftr receiving the award its lyk SIAN! coz got ALOT awards.... aftr abt 2hrs... it was finally the performances!! so nice and funny!! miss those man!!! den "hold on to our dream"... gosh!!! i dunno why.. but everytime i hear that song in SJC... i'll breakdown to tears.... first was last yr during the graduation ceremony... and now... awards ceremony... so sad la!!! i really miss sjc alot lo...!!! anws aftr everything was dinner reception.. so yar.... we ate la... duh... talked to a few tchrs.. cam whored.. den i went to talk to mr pang for lyk super long!!! until bec, jes, est, rau and viv all left w/o me!!! oh gosh! so long nvr talk to him le la!!! lyk since i dunno whn.... sec2? yea... aftr talking den went home le lo...

oh how i miss the times we used to sit around in class talking all the rubbish... the times we had those cold wars and end up talking and crapping to each other putting the past behind us... the times we had pe lessons together.. getting tortured by the pe teachers... the times we slacked after each exam.. the times we had meals after school together... the times when we just stood in the middle of no where at the foyer jus deciding on where to go for lunch... the times we did our projects together... those sleepless nights jus chionging through the project... the laughter the joy the pain... the times we used to stand by the railing staring at school banners while eating during recess or by the stairs staring at fellow schoolmates playing during recess.... the times we rushed to the lockers just when the chime was about to go.... those practical periods where we all chiong esp chem and end up being late for chinese lessons... the times when we would slowly stroll to the teacher's homeroom just because we dislike the teacher or the subject was boring... those days when we would rush off to macs at compass point after our exams just to eat breakfast... the days towards our prelims and olvls where we would chiong studies and help each other clarify the topics we do not understand during the study breaks... the times when we used to chase each other around and teasing each other.... the times when we all slept in class or doodled in each others books or on each others notes... when we flipped through each other's SPO without permission, raided each other's handphone inbox.. the times when we would suan each other or gossip about a certain group of guys or just commenting on our subject teachers... those times we got super pissed off with each other over a small little matter and start scolding each other for no particular reason at all... the times spent at camps... at guides [for viv rau and est]... when we were all tired out by the planning of the camp and the trainings... the footdrill... the campfires... and all the training practices leading to our passing out parade... the day we climbed over the school gate just because it was raining heavily... the sleepovers in school... the times when the teachers got all of us mixed up!!! oh how i wish i can turn back time!!! i wish i had cherish the times spent with you people more... sorry if i have hurt you in one way or another for the past 3years... just want all of you to know that you people have been a part of my life and will always be a part of my life... hope that the friendship that we have will never end no matter what obstacles may come our way... I LOVE YOU ALL!!! (:
i really miss you guys!! and the times we spent together!! i miss sjc! T_T

sighs i think i really siao liao.. just now in school sing that song that time cry for nth... now as im blogging this post im also crying.. and im STILL crying.. sighs... but i really miss you people! and sjc!

RANT!

2008-03-26T17:37:00.004+08:00

wah i seriously cannot tolerate her anymore!!! she's like really pissing me off le la... first she tries to be a know-it-all.. second she's still trying to be a know-it-all.... thirdly.... she thinks she's always right and doesnt listen to anyone who opposes her thoughts... like what happened to democracy?!?! so narrow minded la... cant accept what others have to say de... the thoughts of other people... excuse me! it's a DISCUSSION! not a one-way thing... if discussions were all one-way then it wouldnt be called discussion but an opinion of a person! and like she dont rly have much proof to support her views la... still say us...!! i dont deny the fact that singaporeans are very spoilt nowadays la... but attitude towards singaporean kids dont need to be like that right? pls la!!! not like as if we offended her lo!! its so obvious she's bias towards foreigners... no wonder almost everyone cant be bothered le... and pls la... get the facts right first can? still say we never read... seriously how is earthquakes linked to magma and the global climate? earthquakes are related to the tectonic nature of the earth lo... its the large amount of friction caused by sliding over of tectonic plates that causes earthquakes lo....! ok la.. got abit linked to magma la... coz movement of magma in volcanoes can also cause earthquakes... but that's only for earthquakes that occur in volcanic areas...!! that tsunami on 20041226 is totally the result of the movement in the plate tectonics under the seabed lo.... arrgh!! dont want to continue talking about that!!! but seriously.. she's the worst "dog" ive seen so far la....! spoil the reputation of dogs!!! what a faggot!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake

2008-03-24T23:21:00.001+08:00

I WANNA CHANGE MY BLOGSKIN!! BUT I CANT FIND A SUITABLE ONE!!! and im feeling very lazy at the moment... AND! i cant seem to find the time to do so as well... tho ive wasted alot of time... sighs...

2008-03-23T14:41:00.002+08:00

Saturday; 22nd March 2008

went to Bishan Interchange to meet Liqun, Andrew and Tim to go to Changi Airport... by the time i reached the int at 11:30am, tim and andrew were alr dere... so we waited for liqun.... took 53 down to the airport... journey super long!! d 3 of them were lyk sorta studying in d bus whereas i was lyk slping la... or rather half aslp.... studying in a bus wld b the last thing i wld do sia! coz sure get bus sick de... anws reached the airport at 1pm.... den signed the cards and d tee... took alot of class pics while waiting for Chrystal... whn she arrived we all gave her the presents, cards, tee, and all our well-wishes... and once agn.. photo taking!!! LOL... ohh then got v nice "show" also... v funny.... aftr tt she had to check-in her luggage le.. lyk so sad.... ok..... den we all went to popeyes for lunch.... whr she met us agn... hehe.. aftr lunch it was time for her to really say goodbye... at the departure gates everyone took alot of pics w her.... and the time came for her to say goodbye and go in...

at tt moment i felt quite lost inside.... its like "losing" a gd fren... u noe tt she'll still be around and all... but just for tt moment suddenly everything was like lost.... since d start of the sch term [whn we got to know our classes] chrystal was the girl in class i was closest to.... now tt she's gone.... there's like smth missing.... the emotional attachment is dere la... tho i only know her for abt 2 to 3 weeks? yea.. tried not to think too much la... but yar... cnt help it.... at least i managed to control myself from crying... oh wells...

ok anws... aftr tt we took d skytrain to T3 den take MRT back home lo.. or rather they went expo to kangming's church... den arwin, andrew, roy, weifeng and i went home.... in the train is lyk talk alot of crap la..... den i jus stand dere listen... wasnt rly paying much attention to wht they were saying.... my mind was like filled w alot of thots... jus tt i cldnt rly figure them out....... alighted at Outram den change to NEL... quite crowded wad..... finally got a seat at like potong pasir..... den i fell aslp lo.... and woke up only at buangkok [which meant i missed my stop!] so jus contd to sengkang and bus back home....... reached home at abt 5pm..... my dad started nagging non-stop... went to slp fer an hr... den had dinner and go do homework.... and d best thing is... i fell aslp while doing my homework! and no one woke me up la..... i set my hp alarm also nvr hear it at all!!! i woke up only at 11pm..... den at 11:30pm i said i wanna go slp le... end up.... 1am den go slp...... pro rite? hahaha... oh wells tt's always d case anws...... if nt i wont b called isabelle le....

Sunday; 23rd March 2008

woke up at like 6:30? den dunno y leh today reach church much much earlier than usual... usually i reach at abt 7:25 lyk tt de.... tdae i reached slightly before 7:10 lo...... yea.... but half way during mass dunno y..... i felt lyk as if i was gonna faint lyk tt..... but i didt rly go bother..... den had choir prac.... breakfast at the easter carnival.... aftr eating i went to disturb germaine..... haha... yea... managed to catch up w a few ppl.... lyk sebkoh and ger.... so long nvr talk to them le lo.....! always nvr see them arnd le..... miss the times whn we always studied tghr at kovan macs last yr sia.... b4 prelims and during study break... yea.... den ger ar! kp saying all those who go to CJC all become more crazy de!!! hmph...! but actually quite true la.... dunno y also.... oh wells.... aftr children's mass i went home... while walking back i dunno y..... but i kept thinking abt alot of random things..... dunno fer wad la...... like past memories jus keep coming back......

anws.. i think i wasted my long weekends la.........! spent almost the whole of friday slping..... the whole of saturday at d airport.... ok i did study alil on saturday... but only alil... and now? im stil wasting my time!!! im left w lyk AMS test, PW PI, and sigma tutorial!!! haiz.......

ohh.... i dunno why but im v addicted to the song "we are one" by westlife...... i love the lyrics!!! but i shall not type it out la.... v lazy.. heh.... ok....! random!!!!

2008-03-18T22:34:00.002+08:00

Monday; 17th March 2008

first day of term2!!! and it didnt start off with a right note since the first lesson which was chem tutorial! shall not think abt it anymore... make me angry only.....! hmm.... i think odd week's mondays will b the most sucky day of all la...... coz i have like every single subject except PW! lyk bag will b so freaking heavy lo... how sian is that? anws lesson ended at lyk 5pm....!! den didnt go canoe trng... instead i went home and fell asleep... den chiong chem tutorial till lyk 1:30am den go slp......

Tuesday; 18th March 2008

today was much better as compared to yesterday... had SD which was lyk so fun and funny... math lec and chem lec which put me to slp... ok not rly but almost... GP lec after break whch i was barely awake throughout... chinese hiyah crap..... and physics tutorial.... i was in a world of my own le..... totally zonk out mentally.... lessons ended at 3pm... den we went to LT1 fer NYAA briefing... quite boring... ohh! today onwards chrystal need not go for lessons le.. so russell had to move to sit at her place... and apparently i kept forgetting that fact... each time i turn to my left [coz chrystal used to sit on my left] i nearly called russell "chrystal"....!! hahaha! okok.. anws..... after d briefing, went to amkhub w tim to get a farewell gift for chrystal.. but in the end we only got a card so far which will b like shared as a class... so lyk still hvnt get the gift lo... yea... was stoning throughout on my way back home... finished my physics tut... but i cant do my math tut coz my GC like siao siao one... den tried doing chem tut... but i fell aslp... so yar... im gonna slp now! [pls say tt its EARLY! coz its only 11:10pm!] shall go sch early and borrow GC... also to finish chem tut... i dun wan die a second time...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEONARD!

2008-03-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

Tuesday; 11 March 2008

went to sch fer phy n chem bridging lessons... den during d 1hr break we celebrated Timothy's bday.... lyk cut cake etc [duh]... aftr bridging we went to marina square fer lunch and bowling......... quite fun la...... but lyk cn seriously go broke lo..... actually i said dun wan play de jus sit dere n watch den they go pay fer me..... paid back fer d first game la.. den say second game dun wan they go pay agn... aftr tt went over to suntec...... they wan watch movie den i say dun wan agn they end up buying my tic as well....... i was lyk rly super freaking tired le den wan go home slp also cannot... sian de lo.... plus they bought tics fer horror movie... lyk tt wld b d last thing i'd do on earth sia... watch horror movie... n i actually fell aslp fer awhile during d movie....! w d super piercing sound effects i cld stil slp leh! arent i pro?! haha... aftr movie had dinner den went home.... reached home abt 9 la... den KO-ed IMMEDIATELY!!!!

anws.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMOTHY! (:

Wednesday; 12 March 2008

woke up early fer dental den come home hv lunch n go out agn.... watch movie......... THE LEAP YEAR! w my sis n my niece... my niece super anti climax la!!!!!!!! d show lyk so nice so romantic........... so loving.......... then she was laughing THROUGHOUT! and the only part whr she kept super quiet and sat super str8 to watch was d part where they were in bed la! wth? lol! aftr movie had dinner den go play w rabbit fer awhile den come home le.........

tt's abt it..... hahaha... i hv boring life so dun expect long posts la.. lol!

2008-03-08T20:33:00.003+08:00

another week has come and gone... [is that good or bad? i wonder...] good coz perhaps its the hols now bah....? bad coz hv ALOT of things to catch up with.... this march hols is sooooooooooooo gonna be a busy one... sighs...

sch's quite ok i suppose.............. at least i survived 3weeks of it alr... ok mb first wk nt rly counted... so....... i survived 2 weeks of boring lecs and tuts...! ok nt all are boring but well at least most of them are.....

ytd was d release of the Alvl result.. den suppose to b dismissed at 12 and the GP tutor go extend it til 1 jus coz of d eng compo! she didnt even know la! wth lo.. im so screwed can? tt eng compo.... is CA1! wrote lyk kinda short la... missed d 600mark by 4...... ohh chinese also got test.. so screwed also! cldnt even hit d 50word mark! damn la! sighs... tt's y i dun lyk languages sia!

dunno wad cca to join sia... wondering if i shld jus contd w canoeing or find another cca... trng lyk super hiong lo... siao leh.... so gonna die la..... n im stil aching all over since wed trng! lyk tt how?! rahh!

anws... i love 1T21! yay! hehe.... ok random! boo.... 10000BC! woots

how i wish dere wld b a day whr my brain can stop thinking for awhile.... its lyk gonna explode le lo! thinking of alot of random things... jus cnt help it.... i seriously need a break!

wish you were here by my side right now...

2008-02-28T21:35:00.002+08:00

ok... after soooooooooooooooo long of not updating........ i shall update......

got posted into CJC.... yea... orientation was quite fun........ esp all the games! woohoo! and MASS DANCE! hahah..... made quite afew new friends.....

my subj combi... PCME
class: 1T21

my class has only 8 girls!!! damn! going to b down to 7! den 18 boys! sian lo... at first la.... BUT! after dragonboating! wah siao liao! haha.. not bad la my class..... lol...... ok besides d girls.... [obviously i'll mix w them wad....] afew of d guys are quite ok...... lol... quite fun.. and until now i still dont know all their names....! except fer d few ive been talking to d past few days............ yea.....

haiz....... need start studying soon! prepare tutorials n lectures...........! sian......... till then.. byes! dun think will update tt often la... dont say i nvr say!

2008-01-14T23:15:00.001+08:00

hmm... diff ppl hv diff views abt each other i suppose... different mindsets and all... at least now i know how some ppl see me... and im quite glad! haha.. didnt noe im so good in their eyes... ahh.. oh wells... perhaps i should hv more confidence in myself next tym... if nt i'll end up doing things unconsciously agn.. hahah! yea...

to those 6 ppl: thanks alot! (:

2008-01-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

wow... officially my first post fer the year.. LOL...! actually nth much happened over the past few days la...

went to TM w jes on 2nd jan... nth much la.. jus walk walk... after tt went to find out how to go to the workplace and what buses are there etc... aftr tt go home lo... HAHAHA! met jes at 8plus at d busstop den go fer work... quite ok la..... laminate standard chartered singapore marathon certs nia... but 35k in total leh! hahaha! work OT on first day lo! den go TM de S&K buy t-shirt.... den go home lo.. den fer d nxt few days also laminate d certs la... nth else.... went to TM on tues w jes coz she wanted to buy soap and pimple cream or smth la.... den aftr tt she went home i went to meet leonard and watch Alvn and the Chipmunks... FINALLY WATCHED TT MOVIE! gosh! so nice lo!!! hahaha.... den til thurs we were stil laminating the certs... tdae we jus lyk put it in the heater nia.... den we check hotel cards for defects... and..... after tt i went to learn how to print cards frm meizhen...... quite fun... hahaha.. v cool! so far one week plus at work le... not tt bad... tho its lyk mostly china ppl so everyone speak chinese only...... but other than tt its ok... v fun... hahah.... improve chinese! lol! made new frens.. hahaha.... lyk liying, meizhen, izkandar, ahfan etc... the rest i kp forgetting their names la.. LOL........

ok i shall go to bed le.... need wake up early tmr.. ok not rly... hving off day.... but going to TPOH, SPOH, and NYPOH.. so yar.. LOl...! till then!

ahh! im getting confused!

-i think ive fallen for you....-

2008-01-01T01:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas 2007!

2007-12-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

23rd December 2007; Sunday

went fer caroling in d evening at the Bong brothers' hse and Marilyn's hse... haha.. nice experience! lol... yea... had lots of fun la.... oh and d food at both houses was excellent! d lemon cake and the cookies at the Bong's hse.. and the curry, salmon crakers, apple salad etc at Marilyn's hse... oh! n not forgetting BARCADI! hahahahahah!

24th December 2007 & 25th December 2007; Monday & Tuesday

char n jason came to my hse aftr lunch to contd wrapping d cookies... aftr tt jason went home while char stayed la.. den had dinner and went to church..
hmm.. mass was... ok la........... d singing [thumbs up...]... lol... (: aftr mass we had exchange of gifts and revealing of angels n mortals... so yar.............. hmm...... ok this is lyk lazy blogging sia.. LOL... went to sam's hse aftr tt......... and the old ps me there! say nt going mn mass den end up going... hmph! LOL..... at abt 1:30 went back to church fer dnd............ yea.. was lyk one blind bat walking arnd la... coz my contacts drop out den i 4got to bring my specs..... den lyk cnt see anyone at all... ok la nt rly... cn make up who d person is but cnt see d facial expression etc.... went home at abt 4plus? den type d ppt fer 730 mass...... slpt frm 515 to 615.... wash up n went to church agn..... FOR ONCE WE WERE EARLY! lol... lyk reach dere at 7 sharp! during mass lyk v stone la..... v zonk out... aftr mass had a drink at 401 den went home slp!!!!!!!!!!!
caroling at Grand Mecure Hotel was great! jus tt d last round was alil screwed........ lol.... nearly fell aslp while singing can! damn tired.. my eyes cld barely open.. plus my contacts were hurting my eyes la... den had to lyk prevent myself frm blinking..... aftr caroling immediately took dem out..... if nt sure die one...... on d way back was quite stone la.... den went to sam's hse fer dinner.. but apprently didnt ate anything so yar... went home at 10:30 lyk tt la.... slpt immediately!!!!!!!!! til noon! LOL

27th December 2007; Thursday

last day of caroling ): went to B&B's hse den went to zac loo's hse.................... hmm nth much to blog abt la... caroling jiu caroling mah.. hahahah! den went to sam's place AGN.. they played bridge... den i jus sit dere n stone.... watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S............. went home at 11:45........... reach home at 12... so nice.... lol! den also KO when i reach home la....

tt's all fer this xmas bah........... till next yr................... (: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

2007-12-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

went town w my cousins, sis, and nieces tdae....... wah spent alot of money sia..... $49.40.. so i only had 60-cents left whn i came back.... hahaha!

watched Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium... VERY NICE MOVIE!!!! i give it 8 stars out of 10... hahahah... super dots movie.. but stil v nice!!!!!! hahaha... worth d $6....

hmm ok.... lyk v long nvr update le...... also nth much la... almost everyday at home lo... den hv been making xmas cards... ok.. i only make dem at night apparently.. so i rot during d day la...... hahah... lyk every nite do til abt 3:30am 4am lyk tt lo.... but aftr 3nights n ive only completed lyk 9cards?! tt's v lil!!!!!!! oh wells... better work faster... coz i stil hvnt settle presents.... ahh.. hahahaha....

I WANNA WATCH ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!

STAChoir Retreat 2007

2007-12-09T22:30:00.001+08:00

6th December 2007: Thrusday

went fer choir retreat at Franciscan Missionary of Mary at holland road... d place look lyk quite ulu la.... but d dorm not bad... d bed v nice... d blanket v comfy.. hahah! ok not d pt..............
had ice breakers... followed by lunch, session by fr fred, session by fr tom, more games, dinner, choir prac, supper... all in d smelly carpet room.. except d meals of coz... haha.... den off to bed.......... hahaha! [sry lazy type in details]

7th December 2007: Friday

woke up at 5:45 to get ready to go fer mass... d chapel nt bad... v nice..... mass was held by fr frans... didnt rly catch wad he was talking coz i was half aslp... aftr tt was breakfast followed by............................... games, session by fr michael [i think tt's his name.. cnt rly rmbr...], lunch, choir prac, dinner, session by sacra youth champion Iwan, parents session cum session by fr kenson, supper, supposedly slp tym but wrote warm fuzzies........

8th December 2007: Saturday

last day of retreat... woke up at 6plus! suppose to b 5:45.. but overslpt... went fer mass at d chapel agn... this tym was worse.. cldnt concentrate at all.... aftr tt had breakfast den treasure hunt.... followed by session by sister, lunch, mass to close d retreat by fr frans, packing up, phototaking, singing!, and home sweet home!

hahah... ok tt's briefly wad we did la..... as u cn see i nvr write in details abt d sessions... coz i cnt rly rmbr....... [its 19dec tt im posting this....! tho d post date wont b 19dec coz i save as draft fer v long.....] n i nvr write in my journal...... yeps.... as fer NYR.... hiyah.... tt's b4 choir retreat so all d more i cnt rmbr le..... [nt on purpose but i hv too many things on my mind...]

TPRAWKS!

2007-11-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

Wednesday; 14th Novenber 2007

went to nic's hse early in d morning to go TP w her kaiwen n shihua.... reached dere quite early la..... abt 7:40 reach le..... n registration starts only at 8:30? so went to d canteen slack.. den walk back at 8:15 n registered... yellow team group 24... den elaine n clara came alil later... at almost 9... dere was some perfrmance at TCC... d drums de damn nice! den had games.. throw d ball de... quite ok la... nt tt enthu yet.. aftr tt went sch of engineering.. fer some talk thingy.. n yar..... quite boring.. den dere was a workshop thingy abt live cd.... damn cool!!!! but d room v cold... so lyk freezing dere tho was wearing a jacket... aftr tt gt tym to slack alil... tried to play games but every1 not enthu de.... aftr tt was lunch at d mushroom... not bad d lunch... dere were performances etc... den this korean artise lee an came... quite ok la his songs... aftr tt we went business sch... rly boring.. nearly slpt.. ok except at d A&F and d law & management ones.. went to d sports complex aftr tt fer some mass dance thingy...... yea..... tt's d fun part! fer day 1.. hahah... rly got high..... and its fun! d mass dance.. d chicken dance.. and d TP song.. ended at 7pm.... [half an hr late] oh.. 3 chiobu PLs! Jo-an [shihua's sis], Yu Tian, and Tien Tien...!

Thursday; 15th November 2007

went to nic's hse at 7:15 agn... reached TP at 7:40 agn... and this tym is rot til 9pm... hahaha! ok la.. not 9pm la... went in at 8plus... had a change of PLs fer d first half of d day coz all d 3PLs of my grp not free..... yea.. cca day! had ALP first.... played blow wind blow d parachute.. [yar n my glasses drop inside.... fer i dunno how long...] den aftr tt was some walking thingy... on logs.. or rather on and WITH d logs.. yea.. stupid mud! and.. soon... LUNCH TIME! but only ate a quarter of my lunch so yar... aftr lunch went to d sports complex fer some hip hop dance thing.... fun yet ok la... aftr hip hop-ing we had DRAGON BOATING! woohoo! damn fun! got all wet! hahaha... but stil its v fun!!!! aftr dragon boating we went to play captain's ball..... den we went back sports complex fer i 4got wad... haha.. but had mass dance agn! and chicken dance! and TP song!! ended at 7pm agn.. [on tym...]

Friday; 16th November 2007

woke up late coz supposed to go to sch but in d end nvr go to sch..... so went to hgm change and go TP.... reached dere at abt 11:30... dey were at d rabbit lab.... d rabbit DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! yea.... aftr tt is free and easy.... played at d mushroom dere... den dey got lunch fer us... ate fish and chips! it was CCN day.. so we walked arnd lo..... yea.. but nth much la... every thing lyk all d same de... so went back to d shade n play.... haha... aftr tt go mushroom agn... den go TCC... write postcards... did cheers... etcetcetc.. den had dinner dere as well... a crappy dinner! haha.... aftr dinner was.......... JAM AND HOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but quite boring la.... lyk at first everyone v high... den towards d end all not tt high le.... ended at 11pm... [one hour late!] reached home at 12:10AM... [so late!!!!!!] actually wanted to go CPF building w d rest to hv supper de..... but den.... lyk tt wil need to take taxi home... so nvr go lo....

made 6 new frens... namely.... michael, sacchi, yeong yih, jo-an, yu tian, and tien tien... haha... all d crappy ppl... and of coz not forgetting d fun i had w kaiwen, nic, elaine, shihua and clara! yea! TPRAWKS MY SOCKS!

propoganda cheer:
ding ding ding ding
running through TP
in my white undies
tall short white black
we all love TP oh!
TP rawks! TPrawks! TP rawks my socks!
RP NP NYP and SP
so-so only.....

2007-11-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

YAY! o levels finally over!

2007-10-06T15:28:00.000+08:00

ytd went fer MJC open hse....... wah... damn happening sia... lol.... dey were hving some inter-house mass dance competition... haha.. quite interesting... at abt 5 gt some grand finale thing.. den whole college did mass dance.. so cool la... v strong hse and college spirit... den stil sing college song.. THEIR COLLEGE SONG VERY NICE!!!!!! haha....

reached home at abt 7.. slpt at 8pm til tis morning 10am.. 14hrs! WOOHOO!

ok la.... this wil b my last post til... aftr 12nov.... yeps.. til then....

all those taking olvls: all d best fer ur practicals this wk/nxt wk! and of coz fer d written papers as well la... JIAYOU!

2007-09-29T18:44:00.000+08:00

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Coz true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world, I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Coz true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye ,though it hurts in you heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll missing your lovin' every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry

Because a true love never dies

2007-09-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

I’ve given up on giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
It’s my one last shot at redemption
Cause I know to live you must give your life away

And I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I’ve given up on doing this alone now
Guess I failed and I’m ready to be shown how
You told me the way and now I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake (yeah)
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave.

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
That might be the death of me
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m going because…

I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin (oh)
But so were you
So were you

2007-08-29T22:11:00.000+08:00

haiz... so many things happened d past........... few days? yeps................ ok la.... actually not alot la... hahah!

life is ever so fragile...... so ppl! TREASURE IT HOR! sighs..... at least tt's d least we all cn do wad.... live life to the fullest! tt's a MUST! sighs... everything is just so unpredictable! we dun even noe wad's gonna happen d nxt minute of our lifes..... only 1 person does tho... God! oh well.... but whatever the outcome maybe.... be it our life is a long and meaningful/meaningless one... or a short meaningful/meaningless one..... we all know tt everything is planned, laid out and carried out [well somehow] by God... (: and....... also..... one more thing........... when we all die.... [which we will someday...] dere is no need fer ppl to b sad...... instead... they shld b... rejoicing! coz we've gone back home to God our Father! to live w Him in a place where there is no more sadness no more pain no more worries etc... only eternal joy and happiness awaits...

hmm.... but i hv been wondering fer quite some time.... why must God deliver His msg thru us in such a harsh way? isnt dere a better wae? or mayb He did try but we jus simply ignored it........ oh wells.... [no wonder smth was amiss on tt day..] yeps.....

ok tt's one thing.... now mb d other....

haiz.... why are sooooooooooooooooooooooo many ppl jus soooooooooooooooooooooo hypocritical....? like act nice in front of a person and talk bad abt tt person whn tt person is not dere..... sighs... hmm... cant they like put themselves in d shoes of tt person? how wld they feel if others did d same to them leh....? and summore lyk fc leh! how cld they do this?! sighs................ rahh! [dun get this para den jus ignore it la...][dun think too deep into things]

tmr's chinese prelims! so i guess im gonna end this quick and go slp.... since its nt earli anymore!

teachers' day in 2days time [or rather 3... was referring to celebrations...] and i didnt buy fer alot of tchrs this yr......! haha... not so rich lo......... jus got for d usual ppl.... but tis yr is less by 2 and more by 1.... ok...... so tt makes it less by 1... mb gonna get another 1 if time permits tmr... and if my wallet permits too.... no more money fr d rest of d wk........ juz nw spent $13.10 in total le! nt say v cheap lo....... haha.... [im stingy can?! lol.... cost dun matter wad.. sincerity matters more...] den letters wrote 2 and a half out of 4 le..... lol.........

yep tt's abt it... tme den contd w d letters..... shal go slp if nt tmr slp during pp den die le! i need my A1 fer chinese!
WISH ME LUCK!

2007-08-20T23:20:00.000+08:00

why? why? why does it have to be the mask again?! [nt d movie btw..] time and time agn ive tried to get rid of it... but d more i try the more i cnt seem to b able to rid it! WHY MUST THIS ALL HAPPEN HUH! AHH! this is rly driving me up the wall la! sighs...

everyone is lyk pressuring me to study study study study STUDY! nt lyk as if i dun wan to study rite? but has it ever crossed anyone's mind tt im a v stubborn person? so d more you ask me do smth d more i'll rebel?! sighs... guess you ppl juz wont ever understand bah....

i need to do something v badly.............. i need to find something to vent all my anger on..... and SOMETHING not SOMEONE......... im nt lyk SOME PPL vent anger on OTHERS!

haiz..... im becomin more hermit agn le... once agn i find myself bottling up everythin.. so much so that d "bottle" in me is overflowing le..... nt lyk as if ive shared much of my probs w others.... but juz tt now i......... juz feel v alone.. deer's lyk no one dere at all.... lyk no one to share anything w......... and im lyk losing trust n faith in my frens n myself...... sighs...... despite all d reassurance n encouragement a few gave.. [lyk abt 2 to 3? n im sure they noe who dey are... but doubt they will read this so oh wells...] yeps.......... but now the walls arnd me hv become so thick that their words juz bounce off it... and it cnt penetrate thru.... unless.................... perhaps...... if i cnt lyk find a window let it sink it and fill up den close d window? [if there is even one?]

i no longer recognise the person i am right now.... its...... just not me........ like in sch... w some of my frens cn lyk joke joke n hv alot of fun but deep down inside..... am i rly hving fun? it juz feels all lyk an act... online................. all the more it is worse....... like i b v nt serious while chtting w frens but at d same time...................................... oh wells... lyk juz nw la..... was lyk feeling v hurt by my parents so was lyk juz crying to make myself feel better... was like buring inside.... but at d same time..... i was like joking w my frens online... lyk wth! i seriously dont understand myself at all le....... the mask is lyk so...................................................... unrecognizable! im like a total stranger to.... myself! SIGHS BIG TIME!

someone save me!

can i like juz pretend that nothing happened at all? sighs...... feeling v lost now! once agn..... im lyk in this forest? or wld a dessert b nice? [den cn sand surf...] and i juz cant seem to find my way out at all...

where.... where can i find comfort? where can i find someone to confide in? [ok as im like typing this d ans came to me le...... but!.......................................!] am i closing my doors on Him too? did i ever open it up for Him to enter in the first place? like a sudden vision of Him knocking on the door juz appeared and disappeared as quickly as it had come....

2007-08-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

just a few questions tt keep poping up in my mind over the past few days.....

-are you a God-sent angel to me?
-am i also your God-sent angel?
-why are things the way it is now?
-when did it all start?
-who will be the one to answer all these questions?
-where can i find my answer?
-do i even need to find?
-has it been in front of me all these while?

2007-08-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

hmm.... ytd was my bday... nt rly v............................ eh.......... dunno how to say.... hmm... or shld i rather say... it's lyk juz another ordinary day? yeps..... nth much happened la... juz one whole stream of smses d whole day..? and yar... my sms nearly exceed le! ytd sms too much le.... hmm.. aftr sch bought "lunch" den go home eat... den slack whole tym... or rather i read til i fell aslp... heh.. abt evening tym whn dad came home... whole family went to hgm to eat.... was lyk deciding btwn ajisen and soup restaurant.... den my sis and i wanted to go ajisen but parents wan go soup restaurant.. so obviously ended up going soup restaurant? hmm.... aftr tt abt 7:45 lyk tt chiong go church... [so much of attempting short cut...! LOL!] reached church den gang1 hao3 mass juz start.. [or rather juz aftr saying prayers......] was lyk only half paying attention at mass? [opps!] heh...... yar... den aftr mass went to sacristy tt side... wanted to find weekie but SHE DISAPPEAR SO FAST! hahahah! den saw mich! [lyk aftr half a yr?!?!?!] hmm yea........ was quite surprised tt some ppl i nvr talk to de or nt close to de noe tt it was my bday......... yar.... caught up abit w mich.. den she went to 401 buy things while seb n i juz walked home? hahah! or rather he go my hse dere take bus la...... yar... den go home watch tv lo... and my parents v dots! i wait so long they nvr mention anything abt cutting cake... whn i wan go bathe den dey were lyk "eh! dun bathe yet! cut cake first!" but heck stil went to bathe first anws.... so dey waited half an hr! hahahah! once agn.. mango cake! but this tym frm bengawan solo.. nt thousand deli... yeps..... aftr tt use d com til abt 12 den go slp lo......

anws!!! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO MADE MY DAY A WONDERFUL N MEMORABLE ONE! [tho i said it was lyk juz another ordinary day... but it was special in its lil way yar?] (: thanks fer the presents n cards... and and and... the smses! and the ttmls! and d greetings! heh.... yeps.... am rly happy to hv such wonderful frens lyk u ppl! whee!

oh... and kenneth if ure reading this..... sry ar! ytd rly didnt see u in church! or rather i did la... but nt whn i was outside sacristy tt tym.. lyk one moment u were dere d nxt moment *poof* gone le... haha.... so sry ar! rly rly didnt noe u were bhind....... heh.... (:

and ger... NOT SCANDALOUS LO! i noe i told u dun look too far..... but u neednt look THAT near either! hahaha.. THINK! lol......... tsk!

2007-08-11T18:29:00.000+08:00

rahh.. the long weekend is coming to an end... sian.. hmm.. had fun tho.. went to nic's hse to play xbox w clara n elaine.. den also played frisbee.. and got smacked by it right in d face.. but d swell has come down alot le.. but stil quite painful.. oh wells.. d outcome of nt paying attention to whr d frisbee is flying to la.. lol! national day! wanna scream la! d cameraman kp fliming kit chan! irritating! d fireworks also quite boring... preferred d other yr's de... but all in all nt tt bad la.. quite cool.. den ytd.. went to nic's hse agn.. w shihua elaine and clara.. went to d gym fer abt 2hrs? lol... but v slack dere! haha! cn onli rmbr running d track mill fer half an hr.. den aftr tt its lyk.......... juz do d rest fer awhile de.. went up get a drink den go swimming.. lol... didnt rly swim tho.. juz play? fer me la.. v long nvr swim le so yar lo........... but d jakuzi was...... [thumbs up!] went to bathe at nic's hse.. [and gt tt stupid swimming tan nw!] slacked awhile aftr bathing den had lunch... aftr lunch went to games room play billards and table tennis... lol! damn funny la....... but fun... haha... and frankly speaking.... its my first tym playing table tennis..... heh.. dun rly lyk sports la..... so yar lo... abt 2hrs ltr we went to play bball n frisbee.. fer i dunno how long... den went back to nic's hse sing karaoke.. LOL! fun k! and d condo DIDNT collaspe lo! hahahaha! coz WE CAN SING! [yar lyk real... but actually its true la..] so............... left nic's hse at abt 7pm? hahahha.. reached home was super tired le....... but at least had LOADS OF FUN! nvr had so much fun in ages!!! since..................................... yar... so.... thanks alot!

-if only you knew...... tt.........-

2007-08-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

whee! woosh! yay! jumps! PRELIMS ARE OVER! and im going crazy!!!! no wait.... shld b... im alrdy crazy..... GOING CRAZIER!! WOOTS!

hmm.... i screwed up..... [let's see...] abt........ everything.... esp PHYSICS! which is supposed to b my second best sub? supposedly til i took pure... physics was rly major screw up... paper2 almost whole thing dunno.... paper3 juz gone wrong.. paper1 ok but not much of a help to d rest le... AHH! bsides tt was combined humanities... which i alwaes screw up so i shall nt say.. chem wasnt tt bad i hope... according to my [oh so INACCURATE] calculations...... paper2 cld afford an A2... paper1 an A1.. paper3.. major screw up.. so 2A plus a major screw up = ? at least B3 or B4 i hope! but!!! lyk i said.. my calculations are v inaccurate de... so........... tt makes it.... a C agn... SIGHS BIG TIME! eng.. haiz... dun wanna talk abt it.. amath i juz wasted ALOT of marks... but i hope cn afford a b4? emath! i lurve! hahaha! but hope its nt bad...... if nt.................................................... hiyo... lol............ [as u cn see... im hoping alot fer this prelims.... but my hopes cnt go tt far... coz it'll juz crash whn i cnt catch it...]

ok.... apart frm prelims......! woohoo! tmr gonna watch harry potter! finally found ppl to watch w... heh... hmm.. lets see... tt's fer tmr.... wed.... go sch lo... but 8:30 to 11:15 only.... tt makes.. abt 3hrs? so d rest of d day is slack... thurs NATIONAL DAY! hmm slack day agn... friday! whee!!!!! go play! lol... ok nt play... but a "plan"... haha.... so out whole day.. hmm yar... den nxt wk onwards is time to get serious and study i guess.... and also get killed by prelim results.. and monday getting back chinese olvl results?!? and tues eng olvl oral!!! and wed MY BIRTHDAY! hahahah!

hmm... i rmbr putting this as my msn subnick b4... "found 1 lost 1"... hmm.... but nw [ok nt on my msn subnick coz i juz changed it ytd..] "drifting far far away till you cannot reach me.. but ive found another..." i HOPE im nt wrong.. so...... "prove to me tt im correct.. pls...! pls pls pls show me tt you're better than the rest... coz i dun wanna live in regrets.." yeps... so link these 3 tghr... n hopefully you'll get the pic... IF! ............................ [you dun embark on the wrong tree.. (:]

as you can see... im hving rather high hopes fer almost everything at the moment... so i think aftr this i'll juz fall v hard... sighs!

-sometimes i just wished i knew what you were thinking... is it a mask tt you're putting or is it really your true self.. pls dont put a mask when you're with me.. instead.. be who you really are deep down inside.. pls dont deep too dig a hole.. coz i still wanna be able to climb out easily if it is a dead end..-
-do i really know you for who you are? why is it that all of a sudden you seem like a total stranger to me? can you ans me?-

2007-07-20T19:57:00.000+08:00

hmm... quite some time since my blog had a PROPER update... rahh! ok i dunno y but i have a feeling alot of ppl who bothered to read this post [which i guess wont b many coz of d irritating super freakingly small font size(which is on purpose btw)] will say tt i emo.... LOL....

rahh! is it jus me or is it everyone else? i dunno y.... but i feel lyk my frens juz arent frens la............ ya lo...... 2 things either theyve changed or i have..... [hmm in my opinion i tink is dey changed but i tink in their opinions is i change] its lyk....... they're juz "leaving" lo......... oh wells..... rahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why is this all happening?! may i know?!?!?! WHY WHY WHY?! at this time of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY! rahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jus feel lyk screaming it all out!!!!!! [but no whr to scream so im doing it on my blog] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahh... so much better........ heh.... (:

rahh! prelims in 4 days and im stil online! haiz....... wad's w me!!!??! better chiong studies soon.... ok i hv no choice la...

anws.... to those who did try to motivate me to study...... THANKS! greatly appreciated..... i WILL go study ok? (:

to the destroyer of peace! I HATE YOU! GO AWAY! STOP RUIN-ING MY LIFE!!! YOU IDIOT! GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-14T16:43:00.000+08:00

Inside My Heart
Hi-5

There's a place in my heart
And it's there just for you
Inside your heart
Is where dreams can come true

Put your hand in mine
Take one step at a time
There's a place in my heart ... for you

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
Inside my heart

There's a place in our house
And it's there just for you
Inside our house
There's a room with a view

Just knock on the door
I'll be there for sure
There's a place in our house ... for you

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart

Inside my heart
Inside my mind
Inside my body, you will find
Strength and love and happiness
You'll find a way to be your best
Be your best

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
Inside my heart

ARCHDIOCESAN YOUTH DAY 2007!

2007-07-08T18:12:00.000+08:00

ok b4 d main thing... d night b4 was POP FAREWELL NIGHT!!!! was really v disorganised in my opinion.... but anws... THANKS JNRS! thanks to everyone fer their presents... sry i didnt get any... will go get it aftr prelims ok? (: at abt 23 15 ms lim and ms yeo came!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha....... hmmz.... aftr tt abt 23 45 whn dey went back... went down to canteen to get a drink [b4 everyone dehydrates]... laid on d bball court till abt 00 30? den went back up to d hall fer movie marathon.... rahh! so idiotic! dey kp changing vcd every 5 to 15min!!!!!!!! end up watching 2 horror movies? haha.. i watch abit la....... was playin word snatch... lol..... den was also lyk spelling things w themes... yeps... slpt at abt 2plus 3... den woke up.... slpt back at abt 4... woke up 5plus... went back to slp agn and finalli got up at 6:45! lol..... washed up and all.... left at abt 7:40... it was raining damn heavily! and we had no umbrella!!!!!!!!! thot of walking in d rain.. since i had my wind breaker...... end up...... got out d sch all DRY! lolz..... coz.. we climbed over d side gate! hahahahaha! so fun! i keep my fingers crossed and pray tt no one saw..... went to kovan mac's w clarissa fer breakfast.. den went home..

reached home abt........ 09 15? yeps... laid in bed fer awhile den went to bathe.... reached church at 10 30! [45min late! opps..... =X] d wedding mass was nice.... juz tt d congregation was kinda dead.....

aftr d mass.... met seb den went to d npc hall...... hmmz.... at first it was kinda boring la...... den broke up into grps... quite ok.......... alil fun...... at abt 14 50 we went back to d hall fer a sharing and d WYD video etc.. [oh gosh.. seb got high abt koala!] yeps... den it was dinner at 15 45!! aftr tt it was time to board d bus to go to the expo....... *sidetrack* was waiting outside oln whn we saw ms wan!!! oh gosh! so long nvr see her le!!!!!!!!! rahh! *ok back on track* waited kinda long.... lyk... suppose to hv 3 buses but only 2 came.... so abt 13ppl went by lorry [so fun la!] while d rest went by car.... lol! reached dere..... den crap alot while waiting... abt 18 00? it finally started! lolz.... wasnt really v high at first.. but tried to get high... did manage to get alil high during d PnW..... den gt d WYD show agn.... and once agn.. seb got high abt koala! lolz! den it was Jonah and the Big Fish.... interesting..... and FUNNY! lolz..... aftr tt it was a sharing by sister margaret.... kinda boring but ya.... stil tried to listen..... [i did listen ok! i multi tasked!] Adoration followed aftr........ gosh... my knees hurt alot aftr tt! hahaha.... kinda retarded... lyk kneel until knees hurt lyk siao.. den d next moment get high den kp jumping.... LOL! but yea! d PnW DID get me high! YEAH! den we were all cam whoring while waiting fer d bus to get back to church...... was really v tired! while waiting outside the expo... nearly fell aslp standing... den in d bus i KO immediately! lolz........ d journey back seemed so short.... reached home at abt 23 15... washed up and all... slpt at 23 45........

woke up this morning at 6...... was kinda dizzy... and my voice was super hoarse..... den sms-ed jas n leonard tell dem i not going den went back to slp.... lyk wad? dey replied only abt 5 to 10 min ltr nia i was aldy aslp le leh! woke up at 9.... washed up and all.. den went to church...... i was early yet late.. lol! i reached church at 10 50... but i slacked in d canteen and onli went fer mass at 11 01 lyk tt... 1 min late.... but wait! dey started early i think! coz by d tym i reached d sacristy dere it was lyk end of entrance hymn le! ya! mass was lyk kinda long.. [but den agn its expected... fr tay mah...] stand dere until my legs damn suan la.... during homily got super restless.. hmm... aftr mass went hg plaza [agn.. as usual... nth's new...] fer lunch w parents... aftr tt went home n slpt til 5! heh...... yeps...

msges:
all my jnrs in guides: THANKS FER MAKING POP NIGHT POSSIBLE! W ALL D GREAT PERFORMANCES AND VIDEOS! THANKS FER D GIFTS TOO! (:
jas ger: eh..... i nvr emo ok? RAHH! u scandolous pair.. LOL.... and tsk! i not scandolous hor!
nat: TSK!!!! i dun hv scandal w him! lol!

Passing Out Parade 2007

2007-06-26T16:21:00.000+08:00

the big day has finally arrived! oh we were so damn nervous! BUT! WE ROCK! we perfected it! oh yes we did! lolz... and i didnt rocked on my slow march! oh yay! considering how lil i practised... hahah.... quite gd le..... so sad... no more guides.... 4years really v fast sia.... stil cn rmbr d tym i juz joined guides whn i was in sec1! and now ive passed out! RAHH! thank God i didnt screw up d receiving of ranks as well.. LOL.... stupid camera man took a big right in my face whn we were taking dressing! RAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but tt pic sux! lolz.... OFFICIALLY CCA-LESS LE! yay? lolz!

CONFIRMATION!

2007-06-24T19:15:00.000+08:00

firstly.... HAPPY CONFIRMATION TO ALL MY FELLOW NATIVITY YEAR4 FRIENDS!

yea.. thanks twin, twin's sis, viv and jes fer turning up!

reached church at abt 9:20....... den was juz hanging arnd.. taking pics here and dere and joking abt w frens... aftr tt we all proceeded to the NPC hall fer phototaking.... yeps... took even more pics... exchanged alil presents.. basically juz hang arnd.. LOL.... aftr tt we all proceeded to church fer confirmation mass! hahaha.. during mass i was super duper awake la! fer once! lol... yeps... aftr homily.. we all went up one-by-one to receive the Sacrement of Confirmation! yeps... aftr mass was going arnd taking pics w ppl in church and outside church... hugging ppl also... haha... den awhile ltr we proceeded down to d community hall [old ij punggol lower hall] for the get-together lunch... passed presents to d ppl i had presents for... and almost throughout.. was cam whoring time! lolz.... took alot of pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! den lyk d place almost empty le den we all went to eat.. hahaha.... aftr lunch it was time fer more pics! lolz... den it started to drizzle... hahaha... ok no link... but yea.... left at abt 3..... oh man.. i tink im so gonna miss all the fun i had w d year 4 ppl!!!!!! rahh!

THANKS PPLE FOR THE PRESENTS THE LETTERS THE WELL-WISHES AND THE HUGS!

NYCamp 2007!

2007-06-17T19:58:00.000+08:00

BREAKING FREE!

12th June 2007; Tuesday

started off w group intro.. den had ice-breakers... quite fun la... d sessions were great too! internal games were fun! yea.. got quite high at night la... den cannot really slp.. but stil slept.. [duh!] nth much fer day 1 la..

13th June 2007; Wednesday

d first session "breaking free through prayer" by Fr Brian was meaningful.... yea... anws.. aftr tt was EXTERNAL GAMES! 2 at potong pasir 4 at sentosa.... yeps.. oh gosh d eng is DAMN gross! but fun la.... hahahah! d stations at sentosa were great! LUGE!!!!!!!!! hahahah... fruits captains ball was fun too.. hahaha... dinner was nice.. thanks to amanda's mum.. (: yeps tt's abt it...

14th June 2007; Thursday

wrote warm fuzzies til 4:30 in d morning! lolz.. while writing damn funny la... i tink i toutured my SP w too much water le.. hahahah! opps. (: was so tired during mass..... every one were la... sessions were nice and meaningful.. but i kinda dozed off coz of d lack of slp... dere was also washing of feet.. yeps.. aftr tt we all went to VivoCity! agn.. was taking pics and admiring d scenery while waiting fer ppl to come... den also play "zhong ji mi ma" hahahaha... fun.. aftr every one came... we had d revealing of d secret pals... hahahaha.... damn funny.. lolz.. aftr tt was dinner.. and CAM WHORING TIME! lolz! took alot of pics! hahaha... den at abt 8:30.. we all got tghr agn fer d last time [at NYCamp07] fer d theme song "spirit wings" and d dance "all my life" hahahaha.... yeps.. den we all trained back to hougang.. and went our separate ways.. so sad camp ended so fast... but one thing for certain... IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST CAMPS EVER! (:

thanks ppl for the hugs and warm fuzzies! (: love ya!

CONFIRMATION CAMP 2007!

2007-06-09T14:09:00.000+08:00

7th June and 8th June; Thursday and Friday

Day 1:
it was quite fun... started off w grp ice breakers [well sorta...] den was d first session... which was damn boring.. [opps!] wait! but as it slowly cont'd it got more interesting...... yea.... aftr lunch was another session [business 101] and treasure hunt.... FUN FUN! tho my grp came in last but nvm....... (: den we washed up and went fer mass.... aftr dinner we had some affirmation and reconciliation w friends.... and exposition of the Blessed Sacrement.... hmmz...... really enjoyed tt...... den ya.. bed time......... but didnt go to slp..w as writing letter to parents and my journal.. but it was a failed attempt to do amath... was too slpy....

Day2:
woke up at 4:30! [earliest time ive ever got out of bed!] washed up etc den went to punggol park at 5 am! ... gosh! dere were aldy ppl jogging! had morning reflection at d fitness area dere.... appreciate nature and watch sun rise! nice! however.... i tink i was lyk d only one awake throughout........ d rest all dozed off......... dunno gt others who stayed awake throughout not.... but it was a real great experience....... (: cheers! den we went back to CSC at abt 6:30 fer breakfast.. i tink alot of ppl skipped breakfast to go back to slp.... coz d next session was at 9... so had 2 and a half hrs break...... i cldnt slp at all! i went down to L1... no one dere... went to d audi.. no one also! so went back to my room duh...... oh boy.. d first session [or rather 2nd if u count d one at punggol park...] was damn fun n funny! LOL! it was some kind of skit thingy...... yepyep... den lunch... aftr lunch was sacrement of reconciliation...... i tink it cld hv been more intense....... but was nice anws... had a light feeling aftr tt...... hmm.. den broke camp lo... ): wished camp was much longer! oh wells.....

NYC IN 2 DAYS!

through this con camp ive got to know my frens better [i tink...] and got to reconciled w my frens... and also made new frens! yay! i'm lovin' it!

as fer now.. i gotta catch up w all my work le... they are running away....!

oh.. does anyone wanna go out w me one of these days to buy confirmation presents? (:

2007-06-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

ok i juz realised tt d past few posts were all kinda emo..... rahh! shal try to end emo season soon ok? (:

2007-06-01T18:40:00.000+08:00

when something means alot to you, the easier it'll be for you to lose that something.... and once you've lost it... you may never ever get it back...

what's meant to be yours, it'll eventually be yours... what's not meant to be yours, even though you fight very hard for it, it'll never ever be yours..... even if you've already gain it.... as long as its not meant for you, you'll definately lose it someday...

may be i should just let go rite? i dunno.... but i hv a gut feeling tt i'll regret it alot if i let go of it now... but yet if i don't... i'll regret it even more when i lose it....... it'll hurt even more...... sighs.... i really dunno.... someone tell me what to do........!

im not as strong as i seem to be [emotionally]... it just tt i dun show it.... i seriously dunno what's right and wrong anymore.......! sighs.......

am i really that sort of person?

2007-05-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

chinese olvls finally over... at least tt's one down fer olvls.. i hope i dun need to retake it at d end of d yr la... but i hv a feeling tt tis pp is kinda screwed up.... sighs... dunno if i cn get my B3 not.... not to say an A le la.... oh wells.. so i tink.... hols has officially started? ok mb nt.. its gonna be a v busy hols tis tym..... hope i'll be able to do more than i usually do... bsides homework..... oh wells....

rahh! tmr gotta wake up damn freaking early! dunno wil oversleep not.... better slp early tnite..... hahaha... [mb? hahaha... considering me tis kind of person..... lolz! mb la.. heh..]

falling sick aldy.... losing my voice.. down w flu and cough and slight fever... yea.. everyone arnd me is down w flu cough and fever.... whyye ar? heh..... oh wells..... must hv caught d bug frm somewhr... [duh!]

ok... shal nt blog too much le...... gotta do my homework and start mugging fer prelims le.. if i wan to aim high! whee! -A1s! here i come!!!!-

2007-05-23T18:57:00.000+08:00

can someone just put an end to all these?! its really driving me crazy! sighs...

I'VE FOUND THE DRIVE TO STUDY AGAIN! YAY! but how long will it last now?

2007-05-20T17:03:00.000+08:00

sighs.. dunno wad's w me d past few days.. damn emo...

i seriousli feel tt almost everyone is leaving me... xcept fer a few... but how much longer will that few stay w me? sighs... i dunno why but i just few this way la... ive tried to be stong.. but how much longer cn i stay strong? not any longer i suppose... oh wells... i guess i havta search for the ans.... [has it been right in front of me all this while?] i wonder.. ok nvm.. shal try to stop emo-ing le.... try la... cnt gurantee...... heh..

moving on.... lately ive really been v confused... by ALOT of things... esp smth.. which eh.. i dun tink i shal say tt much la.......... (: heh... it involves abt 4 ppl.... which i shal nt mention... ya.. those 4 left me v confused.... make my mind damn blank.... fer v long..... stil v blank...... hmm... mb one day i will see the light! haha! yea!

jas and jes: heys u 2! thanks fer d encouragement! greatly appreciated! (: jiayou fer chinese O's! we cn do it tghr!

-i miss you... i really do... but... i jus dunno how to tell u... do u noe? cn u feel it? im v confused... can u get me out of here?-
-the distance between is not how near or far we are; the distance between us is that i'm right in front of you but you still don't know that i love you-
-hiyah! i seriously dunno how to tell u! oh wells... mayb one day......................................... one fine day...................... when? i dunno... sighs... really miss you loads!-

2007-05-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

as promised....

JESLYN!!!!!!! me wanna go shopping too!!!! lol! me also wanna watch bridge to terabithia! but no one wanna watch.. hmph! lolz... sighs..... its gonna be chinese papers upon chinese papers everyday for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! damn sian la! haiz... am so gonna do damn badly fer MYE sia... hw? (:

2007-05-14T19:56:00.000+08:00

i've always been wondering.... what if one night, i go to bed and dont get up the next morning......? would anyone bother? would anyone care? would i be missed? will it make a difference to the world? to my friends' lifes? to anyone in particular? i dunno y... but this qn has been in my mind fer a v long time... its rather disturbing ya? hmmz... what if i didnt exist at all? would things have been better? well... i suppose so.... haiz.... why do i feel tt my existence here on earth is kinda wrong? my life's lyk in a total mess... a screw up..... an experiment gone wrong... [no wait.. im nt an experiment... ok nvm..]... why do i feel that im juz nth but trouble to everyone's lifes? am i? if i'm gone would i b better? dun tink anyone would miss me anyways... why do i feel all alone? whr did everyone go? why is this place so dark? is there even anyone out there? why do i always feel tt everyone has left me juz whn i need them the most? sighs... can someone bring me out of the darkness into the light? or would everyone juz leave me alone in the dark and not bother? can someone PLEASE ans me? well.... i guess no one would ans me at all.... i'll be waiting.... sighs... time and time agn i juz feel tt my existence here on earth is very very VERY extra... no one ever seem to need me.... everyone jus ignores me... im lyk...... there yet... not there.... how i wish i was invisible.... but being invisible wouldnt solve anything... would it? sighs...... why am i always able to encourage others to look on the brighter side of things... but yet... im not able to look on the brighter side of things myself..... its lyk a pessimist telling another pessimist to be optimistic...... so retarded! sighs.....

-the distance between us just seems to grow and grow... it just gets colder doesn't it? sighs.... wish you were here by my side.. right here.. right now.... nvm... i'll be patiently waiting here for you... but will you ever come? how much longer do i have to wait for you? please don't take too long.. i don't think i can hang on in there any longer.... sighs.. miss you loads!-

Elementz 2007

2007-04-18T21:05:00.000+08:00

rahh! the proj tt drove everyone crazy!!! LOL! now i kinda miss it ALOT! and its lyk d last time! unless i get into a jc tt's in the north zone? lyk ijc ajc or yjc.... lolz... ijc [ij convent.. lol! ok nt funny... hmmz.. mb.. once an ij student always an ij student... lol!]

the past few weeks...
everyone went NUTS juz doing the project la.. everything v screwed etc...

monday; 16 April 2007: judging at AJC
presentation screwed up... got a copper...

tuesday; 17 April 2007: exhibition at AJC
coz of the copper my whole grp's mood v bad.. or rather all v depressed... lolz... but nvm.. dere's alot tt we've learnt.. the experiences we've gained.. shal mb elaborate more ltr?

wednesday; 18 April 2007: prize presentation at AJC [last day!]
the fun-nest day of all! alot of things happened.... yea..

ok the details...

tues at the exhibition quite ok la... gt one marist guy.. dunn he hv smth against sjc or smth... he went to all 3 grps and bombarded us w a whole lot of qn! lyk as if he v smart lyk tt... but nvm... he's cute.. lolz! he has d smart look anws.. lolz... lyk trip sci student de... ohh one of the montfort grp d experiment v cool! the fresh oasis cooler one...! so freaking rad! the guy presenting was also v cute... lolz! d rest of d grp all v nerd.. esp.. eh.. heh.. one-man-show guy... oh wells.. all trip sci de mah.. hehe..

today d prize presentation so damn malu la! its lyk we registered fer prize giving.. den i went dere dey nvr call out d my sch! rahh! so damn malu la! den during refreshments time dere was this damn good-looking and cute guy giving out the refreshments.. lolz... den second half of the conference... tt marist guy i mentioned earlier tried to "juggle" w one bottle.. act cool nia.. damn funny when he dropped d bottle in the end.. lolz... but stil nvm.. coz he's cute.. LOL! den he keep staring at our direction.. mb im thinking too much [at least i hope tt's d case...].. tt was kinda irritating.. lolz... ohh.. and tt mss guy look cute in alt uni but nt full uni... mb coz of d stone face tday... hahaha... but all in all tday was d best day of elementz ever! lol.. out of the 3 days la...

throughout these 4mths of doing elementz.. dere were loads of ups and downs.. and in some way or another.. everytime when im down dere will always be someone who will encourage me and give me the support that i need. its lyk God speaking to me thru d ppl arnd me... ok.. it is! lolz... but the weird thing is.................................... why all guys ar? no girls de! damn....

msges to ppl....

the grp: heys guys! dun b so disappointed over the results le.. wad's over, over.. take it rather, as a learning experience.. ok it is wad.. lolz.. im v sure u ppl hv learnt alot thru the process of doing this elementz project. coz im sure i did.. in any case.. rock on ppl! you all are the best!

ger, jes, kaiwen: heyz.. thanks fer bringing such fun to the group! really enjoyed my time doing this proj w u guys..! altho dere were afew misunderstandings here and there.... but.. hey.. we stil remained true to the proj and preservered all the way to the end! be it COPper COCcer [eh.. coccer coz copper den coccer lo.. ok dun make sense..] bronze silver or gold, wad matters most is that we did our best and gave our all for the proj.. three cheers! ohh.. u guys really missed out alot tdae la.. v fun leh.. or mb to me it was fun la.. hehe..

mel: heys.. sry to disappoint you! really sorry! but thanks for the help uve rendered dispite your hectic schedule and w exams etc... really appreciate it alot... through you.. ive got to learn alot more abt myself and how to co-operate more w d rest... and of coz i noe dere's stil much more to learn.. and thanks for ur encouragement time and time agn... (:

to the rest who helped out: thanks alot for the help rendered.. greatly appreciated... esp mrs ng, mdm dinah [auntie dinah], ger's mum and clarissa! thanks fer helping us in some way or another.. and clarissa fer bringing in the things fer us whn we 4got completely abt it outside... (: and of coz d support tt u ppl gave us..

to those who lifted me up when i was down: thanks! it did help alot! juz when i needed it... thanks fer listening to all my rambles tho u all didnt need to... thanks fer cheering me up... (:

jiayen: thanks fer the camp tee, council blouse and court shoes!

sjc student council/rebecca: thanks fer the blazers!

eh... did i miss out anyone? i hope i didnt... but anws if i did.... here's a msg too.....

to those ive missed out: sorry fer missing u ppl out.. but if uve helped and supported in a way or so... thanks!

ohh! and of coz..... our sch! lolz! : thanks for giving us the opportunity! it really helped us to grow and learn! (:

haha.. ok.. i tink im done w the msges.. lolz.. it seems lyk star awards den gt long long msg to thank ppl de... ahha.. IT IS NOT HOR! lolz!

[[---*i am not who you think i am!*---]]